What to do when problems seem big

When problems seem big, don't despair... Don't be discouraged if life doesn't run smoothly, if things don't go according to plan. Simply be confident that your main struggles are in the past. From now on, things can only get better!

Arguments and disagreements may create a rift between your loved ones and yourself, but you don't need to dwell on what happened and foster regret. From now on, allow yourself to look forward to a new life of quiet contentment.

Be patient, especially when you fall into the trap of feeling sorry for yourself, or resenting the words and actions of others. What was said cannot be undone, but to keep going back to it is torturing yourself. These destructive excursions into a bitter past are something you cannot allow yourself to do. Instead, look at the present with your full awareness, and the future with hope in your heart. As long as you detect the danger signals, the negative thoughts that often crop up without any warning, you know that you're improving every day. When negative thoughts arise, shoo them away like flies, and immediately replace them with better feeling thoughts.

Say a prayer of gratitude every morning before getting up, and every night before going to sleep. This will stick in your mind, and pave the way for good things to come. God will give you His guidance, his light of wisdom and serenity in a world that often seems troubled.

"Light is sweet, and it pleases the eyes to see the sun." - Ecclesiastes 11:7

With love,

Bella

Painting: 'Olive Trees with Yellow Sky and Sun' by Vincent Van Gogh

Look on the Bright Side

"We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts we make the world." - Buddha

Reality is how you perceive it. Reality is how you think it is and how you want to see it. According to quantum mechanics, things don't exist when we are not observing them. So don't take notice of what you don't like, don't talk about it, don't dwell on it.

At first you may feel like you're kidding yourself. After all, you have all these problems... How can you just ignore them and carry on with your life as if they didn't exist?

How can you not worry? This sounds like denial, but it's only a matter of where you put you focus on, and what thoughts you decide to keep in your mind. Thoughts come to you all the time; you don't need to invite them. But some thoughts catch your attention more then others, and if you allow them to stay, they will produce more thoughts of the same kind. For instance, if you feel sorry for yourself and nurture this feeling, you will find more and more reasons to feel sad and discouraged.

If there is one thing you like about your life, your job, your family, your cat or your dog, put all your attention on it. Tell yourself how much you appreciate this aspect of your existence. Praise others and let them know how much you love and care for them, and what a difference they make in your life. 

Put a happy face on when you go to work, and expect to get along with everyone, even if they're not perfect. All humans have flaws, but why point out other people's defects? You won't change them. But if you acknowledge their qualities, they will respond more positively to you, and your interaction with them will greatly improve.

Forget all the things you don't like and keep pushing against. Weed out negative thoughts and replace them with more positive ones. This will make you feel better about anything you have to cope with. Repeat to yourself, "I can handle this, and I know that things are getting better for me all the time, as long as I keep looking on the bright side. I know that lots of good things are coming to me!"

I wish you love and peace of mind,

Bella

Painting: 'Light Melody' by Lena Sotskova

Why is it Good to Eat a Diet High in Fiber?

Eating fiber is like house cleaning. If you don't clean your house, it becomes messy and dirty. It becomes smelly; things are hard to find, and you feel uncomfortable in it. Germs start festering and you may contract respiratory or skin infections. You may develop asthma due to the dust. 

House cleaning is a routine that most people don't question because it makes sense to them. You feel more contented and relaxed when your house is tidy and hygienic. You also understand why it's necessary to clean your body from the outside and have regular showers or baths. Just like it is essential to clean your house and take showers, it is vitally important to clean your body from the inside.

Fiber scrapes your intestines, like a brush removing dirt and grime from a surface, and in the process your whole body is cleansed. Soluble fiber dissolves in water and turns into a gel-like substance that soaks up impurities, excess bile and cholesterol. It makes you feel full, so you tend to eat less. It also delays the absorption of carbohydrates, thus stabilizing blood sugar levels and preventing hunger pangs. You can find soluble fiber in oats, fruit, vegetables, peas and beans. 

With the help of insoluble fiber, waste matter is rapidly transported out of your body. Insoluble fiber adds bulk to your food, and prevents constipation, by accelerating your intestinal transit. Toxic substances don't linger in your body, and are less likely to be absorbed into your bloodstream. With insoluble fiber, a high percentage of calories is carried away and wasted before it can be utilized: great news for people intending to lose weight or maintain their current weight. You can find insoluble fiber in whole grain foods, nuts, seeds, lentils and the skins of fruits and vegetables

Soluble fiber is the brush, broom, mop, cleaning cloth, sponge, or vacuum cleaner that gathers all the dirt, sucks it up, leaving surfaces clean and sparkling. Insoluble fibre carries the result, whatever is in the dustpan, bucket, cloth, sponge or vacuum cleaner bag, out into the garbage can.

When your daily food intake is high in fiber, your feel better. Your health automatically begins to improve. You lose any excess weight and maintain your ideal body shape. You feel energetic and rejuvenated. You sleep better and think more clearly. You're in a cheerful mood and have more enthusiasm. You feel lighter and more optimistic.

Your immune system works better. Fiber reduces inflammation in your body, and lowers your risk of heart disease and diabetes. Another bonus: you look fresher, as your skin becomes smooth with a healthy glow. If you suffer from acne or fungal infections, a diet high in fiber may be the solution. After just a few weeks, you will notice great improvements. 

Enjoy a healthy day today,

Bella

FEAR: False Evidence Appearing Real

"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful." - John 14:27.

"There is no fear in love: true love has no room for fear, because where fear is there is pain; and he who is not free from fear is not complete in love." John 4:18

An infant comes into this world with a trusting heart, full of love for those who care for him or her. As you keep living and get older, you lose the natural ability to instinctively expect good from others. Instead, you expect to be cheated, lied to, stolen from, disrespected and humiliated. You learn from your experiences, but you tend to cling to the negative ones, rather than emphasising the good ones. 

Fear is "False Evidence Appearing Real" because it doesn't have to be that way. You don't need to cultivate this bitterness and gnawing sense of foreboding that stems from unpleasant past occurrences. You can turn things around and have faith: there is guidance, and there is protection from Above. You can surrender to your life as it unfolds, instead of trying to control everything. You can trust your intuition to help you make the right choice, while letting go of the outcomes as there are no guarantees. 

If you don't take any risks, out of fear of doing something wrong, you'll never try anything new. To change your attitude and try new approaches, believe that they will make a difference in your life.

Today is the beginning of the rest of your life, and it doesn't matter what problems you have and what your circumstances are. It is how you react to challenges, and how you deal with issues that matters. In the end, only love is real. You can love your life, even though it may appear bleak to you at times. You can love the people in it, even though they may appear to be causing you grief. If you allow events and individuals to steal your joy from you, you will never experience lasting peace.

The PEACE Jesus talked about when he left his disciples was a lasting one, not just a momentary relief. He didn't talk about an emotional roller-coaster, about perpetually shifting moods, the kind of yo-yo attitude that you sometimes think is justifiable and acceptable. The peace Jesus talked about is permanent. It is His gift to us, a spiritual state of mind that cannot be altered by people or events. As love infuses everything, it becomes the origin of your thinking and colours your emotions throughout the day. Hope springs from it, with the certainty that all is well, and all will continue to be well, no matter what...

With all my love,

Bella

Painting: "Red Tree Landscape" by Rachel Bingaman

Fear is a Habit You Can Undo!

"Fear is a habit; so is self-pity, defeat, anxiety, despair, hopelessness and resignation. You can eliminate all of these negative habits with two simple resolves: I can! and I will!" - Unknown

In my book "The Magic of Willpower" I explain that a habit is something you do over and over, on a daily basis, until it becomes automatic. Repetition leads to routine, and soon this "habit" becomes a part of you, like the clothes you wear. It seems fairly easy to form new habits, but it's a lot harder to get rid of old ones. The secret to eliminating unwanted habits is to replace them with new ones that will serve you better. Ditch your negative thoughts and adopt a positive, non-judgmental way of thinking, and it will become a natural part of you!

Like a lot of people, you may approach challenges with anxiety and worry instead of trust. Straight away, you recall past experiences, and tend to compare what's happening now with what happened back then, and draw conclusions. You tend to believe that it will turn out the same way... And you decide to avoid certain situations altogether, or you approach them with negative expectations.

"Once bitten, twice shy" is a saying a lot of people tend to live by, either consciously or subconsciously. But is it really worth it, imagining the worst case scenario, just because in the past it happened that way, and you have been scarred by these traumatic events? Why not start the day with a fresh outlook, and a brand new hope in your heart - and the certainty that things will work out for the best this time?

Just because you suffered a bad experience in the past doesn't mean it will repeat itself. It won't necessarily be the same this time! Circumstances may be similar, and yet outcomes can be totally different. You may harbour a deep fear of being hurt - but in most cases, you're the one who chooses to be injured.

You might not be able to choose your circumstances, but you can choose your thoughts, feelings, actions and reactions. Imagination is a powerful tool. It allows you to project yourself into the future in a positive, constructive way - instead of feeling sorry for yourself and stuck in an uncomfortable place.

You can move forward without fear and without hesitation. You can enjoy the present without having to worry about the future. You can live for this moment... All you need to do is let go of excuses and seize the day. This is your life... Make the most out of it. Never allow fear to hold you back!

With love and warm thoughts,

Bella

Paiting:"Dragonfly" by Stephanie Estrin, USA

Focus on the Positive

"Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all others." - Cicero

Maybe it's a habit for you to have an inner conversation about the things that go wrong in your life. "Oh no, not again... Why is this happening to me? Why me? Why can't I be lucky for a change?"
You may spend a lot of time judging yourself and others: "I shouldn't have done this or that... I'm such an idiot... If only I'd known... This person is so rude and annoying... She's so selfish... He's so arrogant... These people are not doing their job properly..." And so on... Your thoughts continue to run along these lines... Including what you say to yourself about your financial situation: "There's never enough money... When am I going to have more money? Prices are going up all the time... How am I going to afford this? Why do I have to pay so much for this?"

Today you can decide to clear your head of this endless chatter which is not beneficial for you. Instead, you can begin to focus on the good things in your life. Is there anything that's going well for you? It could be your health, your job, your family, your friends, your car, your neighbourhood, your leisure activities... It could be your cat, your dog or even your goldfish. It could be your boss who hasn't criticised you for the last couple of weeks. It could be having a roof over your head and food on the table. It could be as simple as being alive, even if you have nothing else. There is a lot to be grateful for if you really think about it!

Instead of focusing on the negative, you can change your thoughts and begin to like your circumstances and the people around you, rather than rejecting them and fighting against them. No human being is perfect, but as you accept other people's imperfections, while highlighting their qualities, you'll start seeing them in a different light. You'll become more lenient and have less expectations. Human beings are fallible, prone to mistakes, and likely to hurt others, often unintentionally. Others say or do things you don't like, and you can't change them. But you can set boundaries, by not allowing them to intrude into your privacy and interfere with your life and your choices. You give them the right to be themselves, while kindly asking them to do the same for us. This is the true meaning of respect.

You can allow things to affect you and become angry or upset. Or you can choose to maintain an inner peace, an inner sanctuary that nothing can disturb. Temporary frustration is not much compared to inner harmony and stability, a core strength within your self - the intention to see everything in a positive light, no matter what... If you're feeling low, you can look outside the window and reflect on the scenery: the sky, the clouds, the wind blowing the trees around... A single flower, an intricate spider web, a rainbow in a puddle of water, children playing, birds twittering... Beauty and serenity are always available if you seek them out, and you can appreciate them at any time.

As soon as a negative, judgemental thought enters your mind, replace it with a positive, uplifting one. Cling to it and don't let worry or anxiety take over your blissful inner landscape. Trust that all is well, and will continue to be that way, no matter what's happening around you. Don't project crisis and disaster into the future, but expect outcomes to be in your favour. Appreciate what you've got now, and you will attract more of it into your life!

With much love,
Bella

Painting: "Field Flowers" by Nicolae Tonitza (1886 - 1940), Romania, post-impressionism