Willpower is the Power of Endurance

"Endurance is one of the most difficult disciplines, but it is to the one who endures that the final victory comes." - Buddha

"Endurance is not just the ability to bear a hard thing, but to turn it into glory." - William Barclay (Scottish author, 1907 - 1978)

Sometimes you wish you could make your problems disappear, simply by waving a magic wand. This is why I chose "The Magic of Willpower" as the title for my book, as I had this vision of difficulties magically disappearing. And it is possible, if you develop self-discipline an endurance. It may not happen instantly but eventually, you will reap the results for your dedication. 

Sometimes you believe that the only way to be happy is to get rid of what is bothering your: whether it be a demanding boss, a domineering spouse, an invasive adult child at home, an obnoxious neighbour, a destructive puppy your children forced you to adopt, gloomy weather, or hopeless politicians...

But you didn't come into this life to have everything nice right away. You didn't come to have sunshine, lollipops and roses every day. You came to endure and make the best out of what you've got now.  If you manage to maintain a positive attitude in the midst of trouble, without losing your serenity, you've achieved more than you can hope for. 

Once you acquire the ability to control your thoughts (I explain how to do this in my book, "The Magic of Willpower"), your actions and words will follow and be in harmony with them. To your own surprise, you will experience a deep calm in the midst of turmoil, and become an observer. You won't lose your inner composure, which will allow you to be confident and overcome many obstacles.

Cultivating a patient and cheerful attitude will give you strength and courage. You won't be tempted to become upset, or to lose your temper and do things you might regret later. You won't be tempted to give up, because you know that the ultimate reward is what you've gained on the inside: sanity and peace of mind. You won't become agitated and fearful as soon as things threaten to go wrong. Instead, you will be equipped with the tools to deal with setbacks and crisis.

You don't know what life has in store for you. There are fabulous moments and not-so-fabulous ones! If you concentrate on your inner path, without losing your focus, you'll be able to ignore things that are unimportant, like someone who disagrees with you. You're not here to convince other that you're right and that they're wrong. You're here to endure what happens with steadfastness, and a general disposition to expect the best in all things. 

With all my love,

Bella

Painting: "Lavender Lotus Flower" by Mon Fagtanac, contemporary artist, San Juan, Luzon, Philippines.

Willpower is Inner Mastery

"You cannot control what happens to you, but you can control your attitude toward what happens to you, and in that, you will be mastering change rather than allowing it to master you." - Brian Tracy

"All the days of the afflicted are bad but a cheerful heart has a continual feast." - Proverb 15:15

Your circumstances do not define you; it's the way you react to them that reflects who you are. You can decide to be cheerful at heart, or you can decide to feel miserable and downtrodden. You can choose to play an active role in your destiny. How? By selecting your thoughts - and ultimately, your emotions.

You're not at the mercy of your feelings, like a helpless prisoner, but you are the active participant in the inner turmoil that seems to overwhelm you at times. You can allow chaos to take over, or you can create order and harmony, by looking at the big picture, and refusing to become discouraged.

The more you dwell on a problem, the bigger it becomes, and the more helpless you feel. The problem itself doesn't cause your frustration; it's the fact that you keep worrying and obsessing about it. Put your problem aside for a while, and just concentrate on the present moment, finding pleasure in what's happening now, rather than being stuck in the past or the future. While you take your mind off a question, your subconscious will keep working on it, without you having to do anything about it. The answer will usually come to you when you expect it the least.

"A cheerful heart has a continuous feast", because no matter what's happening, you won't be affected by it, at least not in a way that will throw you off balance. Inner joy is mastery, and it is up to you to cultivate it. Negative thoughts tend to pop up in your mind in the absence of anything else. In my book, "The Magic of Willpower", I explain that the mind abhors a vacuum, and the trick is to fill it with positive thoughts, leaving no room for anything else. Darkness is just the absence of light: there is no dark switch when you enter a room.

You can shine a light on your thoughts and guide yourself with empowering statements, like "I can do this." Without being in denial about your problems, you can focus on what is good in your life, on all the areas in which you're doing well. Congratulate yourself for your achievements, even though they may seem small. The smallest progress or improvement can be an opportunity to rejoice. Without any hurdles, you wouldn't learn and you wouldn't grow as a human being.  In the end you can allow obstacles to drag you down, or you can allow them to lift you up.

With love,

Bella

Painting: "The Old Bridge" by Guy Rose, 1910, France

Focus on the Positive

"Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all others." - Cicero

Maybe it's a habit for you to have an inner conversation about the things that go wrong in your life. "Oh no, not again... Why is this happening to me? Why me? Why can't I be lucky for a change?"
You may spend a lot of time judging yourself and others: "I shouldn't have done this or that... I'm such an idiot... If only I'd known... This person is so rude and annoying... She's so selfish... He's so arrogant... These people are not doing their job properly..." And so on... Your thoughts continue to run along these lines... Including what you say to yourself about your financial situation: "There's never enough money... When am I going to have more money? Prices are going up all the time... How am I going to afford this? Why do I have to pay so much for this?"

Today you can decide to clear your head of this endless chatter which is not beneficial for you. Instead, you can begin to focus on the good things in your life. Is there anything that's going well for you? It could be your health, your job, your family, your friends, your car, your neighbourhood, your leisure activities... It could be your cat, your dog or even your goldfish. It could be your boss who hasn't criticised you for the last couple of weeks. It could be having a roof over your head and food on the table. It could be as simple as being alive, even if you have nothing else. There is a lot to be grateful for if you really think about it!

Instead of focusing on the negative, you can change your thoughts and begin to like your circumstances and the people around you, rather than rejecting them and fighting against them. No human being is perfect, but as you accept other people's imperfections, while highlighting their qualities, you'll start seeing them in a different light. You'll become more lenient and have less expectations. Human beings are fallible, prone to mistakes, and likely to hurt others, often unintentionally. Others say or do things you don't like, and you can't change them. But you can set boundaries, by not allowing them to intrude into your privacy and interfere with your life and your choices. You give them the right to be themselves, while kindly asking them to do the same for us. This is the true meaning of respect.

You can allow things to affect you and become angry or upset. Or you can choose to maintain an inner peace, an inner sanctuary that nothing can disturb. Temporary frustration is not much compared to inner harmony and stability, a core strength within your self - the intention to see everything in a positive light, no matter what... If you're feeling low, you can look outside the window and reflect on the scenery: the sky, the clouds, the wind blowing the trees around... A single flower, an intricate spider web, a rainbow in a puddle of water, children playing, birds twittering... Beauty and serenity are always available if you seek them out, and you can appreciate them at any time.

As soon as a negative, judgemental thought enters your mind, replace it with a positive, uplifting one. Cling to it and don't let worry or anxiety take over your blissful inner landscape. Trust that all is well, and will continue to be that way, no matter what's happening around you. Don't project crisis and disaster into the future, but expect outcomes to be in your favour. Appreciate what you've got now, and you will attract more of it into your life!

With much love,
Bella

Painting: "Field Flowers" by Nicolae Tonitza (1886 - 1940), Romania, post-impressionism