Why it's important to get a good night's sleep

Energy and willpower are necessary to work towards your goals, and depend a lot on the quality and quantity of your sleep. When you’re sleep deprived, your brain is impaired and functions less effectively. Your mental processes become distorted and negative. You get easily irritated by what other people do or say. You get frustrated as soon as things don’t go your way. 

Without sufficient sleep, you find it hard to make decisions. Or you make decisions in a rush, without thinking them through properly, and without looking at the consequences. Lack of sleep can turn you either into an insensitive robot or an emotional wreck. At the same time, you tend to become irrational and lose all perspective and common sense.

Getting a good night’s sleep should be your number one priority. Avoid caffeine, alcohol, cigarettes and over-the-counter pharmaceuticals, excepts maybe for natural herbal products. Any chemical you put into your body can affect your sleep pattern. If you’re a night shift worker, be particularly vigilant to get enough sleep during the day, and on your days off. Put all non-urgent tasks on the back burner and explain to your family that your rest and sleep come first.

To stay positive, motivated and focused on what you really want, you need sufficient quality sleep. It is during your sleep that memories become anchored in your subconscious: this is essential for learning and preparing for exams. In your sleep, you often solve problems you couldn’t figure out during the day, as your subconscious keeps working on them, without you having to do anything about it! In your sleep, all your bodily systems get rejuvenated and injected with new energy, this is why you feel so refreshed when you wake up after a good night.

You don’t have to wait to be exhausted to go to bed. Start making yourself comfortable between the sheets at least half an hour to an hour before your actual bedtime. Sleep is a progressive state of deep relaxation. You can initiate the process and feel your eyes getting heavy, while yawning sets in, and slumber eventually takes over.  This is a proactive approach that will have a great impact on the quality of your sleep. Read something inspiring. Take a few minutes to pray or meditate. Go go over the events of the day and look at them from an observer’s point of view, without judging people and events. Be grateful for everything you’ve got, even if it isn’t much. Be grateful that you’re breathing, that you’re in a nice warm bed, that you’ve got a roof over your head. Be grateful for yesterday, today and tomorrow!

Sleep well,

Bella

Painting: "Night Time" by Toni Grote

Appreciation and Fulfilment

You can travel the whole world in search of what you need, and come home to find it!

You often look outside yourself to satisfy your desires. You crave for more, for something different. You want easy solutions, instant fixes to your problems, coming from external sources. You do this instead of developing your ability to live happily in the present moment. But appreciation comes from the inside. No matter how small or big something is, you need to be grateful for it before you can enjoy it. This is a quality you can develop in your daily life.

By looking with fresh eyes at ordinary things like a rose, a rainbow in a puddle, or the intricacy of a spider web, you practice enjoying these. You practice saying "thank you" while rewarding yourself with instant bliss. You practice feeling good, even when adversity strikes. It's even more important to be grateful during difficult times, as it will help you get over hurdles quickly and with a minimum of pain. A person who is appreciative can face all sorts of obstacles and shortages, while still having a contented heart.

Appreciation brings fulfilment. The more you appreciate everything in your life, the more fulfilment you'll have! When you're grateful for something, life will give you more of it. Life is a never-ending source of positive, healing energy that's there for everyone, not only a few chosen ones. When you feel blessed, you attract more blessings.

Every morning, look at yourself in the mirror, smile and say to yourself: "Something good is going to happen to me today." Say it with emphasis, with emotion. Be open to the possibility that you may actually be lucky for a change. Life responds to whatever you think and say. Say good things about yourself,  about others, and about the world in general. Love life, and life will love you!

"We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognising and appreciating what we do have." - Frederick Koenig

With lots of love,

Bella

Painting:"Little Pink Rose" by Matthew Bates

How to Forget Something or Someone

"To forgive is wisdom, to forget is genius. And easier. Because it's true. It's a new world every heart beat." - Joyce Cary, The Horse's Mouth

To stop thinking about something or someone may seem like a tall order, especially when you're in the middle of a crisis like ill health, job loss or separation. How to do it may seem difficult, but there is an easy and straightforward way to go about it. Putting this simple strategy into practice however takes commitment and some practice.

Whenever you find yourself thinking about something unpleasant, something in your life that bothers you, or a person you would like to get out of your mind, gently but firmly direct your thoughts away from it and towards something or someone that makes you feel better.

Do this repeatedly and consistently, whenever an unwanted thought pops up in your mind. Over time this strategy will become automatic. And when something becomes a habit, it requires less and less effort, as I explain in my book, "The Magic of Willpower". In the beginning you might struggle but after a while it will become natural: this way of thinking will become a part of you. You will apply it to other situations, like when you worry too much, or when you're stuck in a negative thinking pattern.

The thought in itself is not a problem. The real problem is the tendency we have as human being to feel sorry for ourselves, and wanting other people to feel sorry for us too. It's almost as if we get a warped sense of satisfaction from it! Feeling bad can be addictive in a crazy sort of way, but it won't help us move forward. The problem is still there, and we won't resolve it by dwelling on it. We need to let it go, no matter what.

Do you want to embark on an endless cycle of thinking about something or someone you want to forget? Once you understand how useless it is to hold onto painful memories and feelings, you can start choosing thoughts that are not so painful, and that give you a sense of hope and relief. Choose something that feels a bit better, like "I have family and friends who will helps me and give me moral support", "There will be a solution to my money problem", "Children are resilient and they will adjust to it."

You may be caught in a difficult situation, but you are free to choose thoughts that are positive and encouraging. Forgetting someone is not easy, but you can do it by shifting your attention to something else. Focus on improving your life, on making the most out of what you've got rather than what you've lost. Distract yourself with meaningful and joyful activities. Put all your attention on the present moment, without drifting into the past or future. 

With loving thoughts,

Bella

Painting: "Forger Me Not" by Derick Burleson, Alaska, 2010

Focus on the Positive

"Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all others." - Cicero

Maybe it's a habit for you to have an inner conversation about the things that go wrong in your life. "Oh no, not again... Why is this happening to me? Why me? Why can't I be lucky for a change?"
You may spend a lot of time judging yourself and others: "I shouldn't have done this or that... I'm such an idiot... If only I'd known... This person is so rude and annoying... She's so selfish... He's so arrogant... These people are not doing their job properly..." And so on... Your thoughts continue to run along these lines... Including what you say to yourself about your financial situation: "There's never enough money... When am I going to have more money? Prices are going up all the time... How am I going to afford this? Why do I have to pay so much for this?"

Today you can decide to clear your head of this endless chatter which is not beneficial for you. Instead, you can begin to focus on the good things in your life. Is there anything that's going well for you? It could be your health, your job, your family, your friends, your car, your neighbourhood, your leisure activities... It could be your cat, your dog or even your goldfish. It could be your boss who hasn't criticised you for the last couple of weeks. It could be having a roof over your head and food on the table. It could be as simple as being alive, even if you have nothing else. There is a lot to be grateful for if you really think about it!

Instead of focusing on the negative, you can change your thoughts and begin to like your circumstances and the people around you, rather than rejecting them and fighting against them. No human being is perfect, but as you accept other people's imperfections, while highlighting their qualities, you'll start seeing them in a different light. You'll become more lenient and have less expectations. Human beings are fallible, prone to mistakes, and likely to hurt others, often unintentionally. Others say or do things you don't like, and you can't change them. But you can set boundaries, by not allowing them to intrude into your privacy and interfere with your life and your choices. You give them the right to be themselves, while kindly asking them to do the same for us. This is the true meaning of respect.

You can allow things to affect you and become angry or upset. Or you can choose to maintain an inner peace, an inner sanctuary that nothing can disturb. Temporary frustration is not much compared to inner harmony and stability, a core strength within your self - the intention to see everything in a positive light, no matter what... If you're feeling low, you can look outside the window and reflect on the scenery: the sky, the clouds, the wind blowing the trees around... A single flower, an intricate spider web, a rainbow in a puddle of water, children playing, birds twittering... Beauty and serenity are always available if you seek them out, and you can appreciate them at any time.

As soon as a negative, judgemental thought enters your mind, replace it with a positive, uplifting one. Cling to it and don't let worry or anxiety take over your blissful inner landscape. Trust that all is well, and will continue to be that way, no matter what's happening around you. Don't project crisis and disaster into the future, but expect outcomes to be in your favour. Appreciate what you've got now, and you will attract more of it into your life!

With much love,
Bella

Painting: "Field Flowers" by Nicolae Tonitza (1886 - 1940), Romania, post-impressionism