What to do when problems seem big

When problems seem big, don't despair... Don't be discouraged if life doesn't run smoothly, if things don't go according to plan. Simply be confident that your main struggles are in the past. From now on, things can only get better!

Arguments and disagreements may create a rift between your loved ones and yourself, but you don't need to dwell on what happened and foster regret. From now on, allow yourself to look forward to a new life of quiet contentment.

Be patient, especially when you fall into the trap of feeling sorry for yourself, or resenting the words and actions of others. What was said cannot be undone, but to keep going back to it is torturing yourself. These destructive excursions into a bitter past are something you cannot allow yourself to do. Instead, look at the present with your full awareness, and the future with hope in your heart. As long as you detect the danger signals, the negative thoughts that often crop up without any warning, you know that you're improving every day. When negative thoughts arise, shoo them away like flies, and immediately replace them with better feeling thoughts.

Say a prayer of gratitude every morning before getting up, and every night before going to sleep. This will stick in your mind, and pave the way for good things to come. God will give you His guidance, his light of wisdom and serenity in a world that often seems troubled.

"Light is sweet, and it pleases the eyes to see the sun." - Ecclesiastes 11:7

With love,

Bella

Painting: 'Olive Trees with Yellow Sky and Sun' by Vincent Van Gogh

Self Love is Selfless Love

"To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance." - Oscar Wilde

If you don't love yourself, you can't really love anyone else. And others won't love you either, at least not in the way you would like them to love you.  Treat yourself well if you want others to treat you well. Respect yourself if you want others to respect you. Love begins right here. It begins with you. Self-love comes before anything else, and it has nothing to do with arrogance or selfishness.

Stop criticising yourself, once and for all. "I am too short, too fat, too young, too old, too unfit, too lazy, too clumsy..." With this kind of self-talk, you cultivate low self-esteem, which is the source of emotional problems. You prevent yourself from achieving your full potential. You perpetuate an unforgiving attitude towards yourself, your past, your mistakes, your lack of achievement, and how you compare with others.

What others do with their lives has nothing to do with you. If they do better romantically or financially, don't envy them; be happy for them. Whatever quality you admire in others is already within yourself! You just need to "let it go", to allow it to be free and to express itself.

You are a unique human being, amazing just the way you are. If you want to change, do it for your own pleasure, not because you "have to" and not because you need to please someone else. If you really love yourself, you'll find it easy to give up habits like smoking, drinking excessively, overeating or overspending. If you really love yourself, you won't hurt yourself, just like you won't hurt other people. 

From now on, you can make a decision to treat yourself better every day. You will have understanding and compassion for yourself, the kind of empathy you would have for a little child. You will fully embrace yourself with all your assets and so-called defects of character.

If you were perfect, you would be pretty boring; there would be no mystery about you, as your "dark" side makes you exciting too! Just dare to expose it, instead of trying to hide it. People will open up to you about their own weaknesses if you tell them all the things you regret doing! You will quickly find out that you're not the only one... Only saints have halos, but you are who you are, and that's okay!

Relationships come and go. People get disappointed; they get hurt. Rejection is a part of life, but you don't need to reject yourself. The love you have for yourself will never die, no matter what happens in your life. It will always be there, even when things don't go according to plan. You have a person to live with at all times: yourself. Be your own best friend, and you'll always have good company!

It's impossible to be lonely when you love yourself. At the same time, you will be a magnet for others. People love people who genuinely love themselves, because it makes them feel good. And it makes them want to love themselves too. 

Self-love is catching. Self-love is selfless: in the end, it makes you a better person!

With much love for everyone, including myself!
Bella

Painting: "Endless Tunnel of Love" by Yelena Rubin

Willpower is the Power of Endurance

"Endurance is one of the most difficult disciplines, but it is to the one who endures that the final victory comes." - Buddha

"Endurance is not just the ability to bear a hard thing, but to turn it into glory." - William Barclay (Scottish author, 1907 - 1978)

Sometimes you wish you could make your problems disappear, simply by waving a magic wand. This is why I chose "The Magic of Willpower" as the title for my book, as I had this vision of difficulties magically disappearing. And it is possible, if you develop self-discipline an endurance. It may not happen instantly but eventually, you will reap the results for your dedication. 

Sometimes you believe that the only way to be happy is to get rid of what is bothering your: whether it be a demanding boss, a domineering spouse, an invasive adult child at home, an obnoxious neighbour, a destructive puppy your children forced you to adopt, gloomy weather, or hopeless politicians...

But you didn't come into this life to have everything nice right away. You didn't come to have sunshine, lollipops and roses every day. You came to endure and make the best out of what you've got now.  If you manage to maintain a positive attitude in the midst of trouble, without losing your serenity, you've achieved more than you can hope for. 

Once you acquire the ability to control your thoughts (I explain how to do this in my book, "The Magic of Willpower"), your actions and words will follow and be in harmony with them. To your own surprise, you will experience a deep calm in the midst of turmoil, and become an observer. You won't lose your inner composure, which will allow you to be confident and overcome many obstacles.

Cultivating a patient and cheerful attitude will give you strength and courage. You won't be tempted to become upset, or to lose your temper and do things you might regret later. You won't be tempted to give up, because you know that the ultimate reward is what you've gained on the inside: sanity and peace of mind. You won't become agitated and fearful as soon as things threaten to go wrong. Instead, you will be equipped with the tools to deal with setbacks and crisis.

You don't know what life has in store for you. There are fabulous moments and not-so-fabulous ones! If you concentrate on your inner path, without losing your focus, you'll be able to ignore things that are unimportant, like someone who disagrees with you. You're not here to convince other that you're right and that they're wrong. You're here to endure what happens with steadfastness, and a general disposition to expect the best in all things. 

With all my love,

Bella

Painting: "Lavender Lotus Flower" by Mon Fagtanac, contemporary artist, San Juan, Luzon, Philippines.