Most Important Thing When You Want to Lose Weight

"The secret of change is to focus all of your energy not on fighting the old but on building the new." - Socrates.

What's the most important when you want to lose weight? 
- It’s not counting calories or creating a caloric deficit;

- It’s not eliminating fats and carbs from your diet;

- It's not eating ridiculously small portions;

- It’s not depriving yourself of all your favourite treats; 

- It’s not enduring hunger and cravings day after day;

- It’s not being discouraged because you need to lose sooo much weight and it’s going to be soooo hard;

- It’s not being discouraged because you only need to lose a few kilos but you know they’re the most difficult to shed;

- It's not being discouraged because you think you will regain all your weight once your diet is over;

- It’s not exercising like a lunatic until you pass out;

- It’s not stuffing yourself with vegetables until you despise the sight of them;

- It’s not having to eat fruit all the time instead of cake or candy;

- It’s not thinking you can’t do it because it’s too hard and you don’t like to suffer;

- It’s not thinking you can’t do it because you’ve got no willpower;

- It’s not looking at your past failed diets and predict that you will fail again, so there is no use trying;

- It’s not having to spend a lot of money on healthy food, and extra time shopping and cooking.

The most important aspect to consider when you want to lose weight is none of these! 
It's all about ATTITUDE. 
Your frame of mind will determine your long-term success. I will tell you more about it next week!

With all my love and warm thoughts of encouragement,

Bella

FEAR: False Evidence Appearing Real

"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful." - John 14:27.

"There is no fear in love: true love has no room for fear, because where fear is there is pain; and he who is not free from fear is not complete in love." John 4:18

An infant comes into this world with a trusting heart, full of love for those who care for him or her. As you keep living and get older, you lose the natural ability to instinctively expect good from others. Instead, you expect to be cheated, lied to, stolen from, disrespected and humiliated. You learn from your experiences, but you tend to cling to the negative ones, rather than emphasising the good ones. 

Fear is "False Evidence Appearing Real" because it doesn't have to be that way. You don't need to cultivate this bitterness and gnawing sense of foreboding that stems from unpleasant past occurrences. You can turn things around and have faith: there is guidance, and there is protection from Above. You can surrender to your life as it unfolds, instead of trying to control everything. You can trust your intuition to help you make the right choice, while letting go of the outcomes as there are no guarantees. 

If you don't take any risks, out of fear of doing something wrong, you'll never try anything new. To change your attitude and try new approaches, believe that they will make a difference in your life.

Today is the beginning of the rest of your life, and it doesn't matter what problems you have and what your circumstances are. It is how you react to challenges, and how you deal with issues that matters. In the end, only love is real. You can love your life, even though it may appear bleak to you at times. You can love the people in it, even though they may appear to be causing you grief. If you allow events and individuals to steal your joy from you, you will never experience lasting peace.

The PEACE Jesus talked about when he left his disciples was a lasting one, not just a momentary relief. He didn't talk about an emotional roller-coaster, about perpetually shifting moods, the kind of yo-yo attitude that you sometimes think is justifiable and acceptable. The peace Jesus talked about is permanent. It is His gift to us, a spiritual state of mind that cannot be altered by people or events. As love infuses everything, it becomes the origin of your thinking and colours your emotions throughout the day. Hope springs from it, with the certainty that all is well, and all will continue to be well, no matter what...

With all my love,

Bella

Painting: "Red Tree Landscape" by Rachel Bingaman

Why is it so Difficult to Lose Weight?

Dieting is not a piece of cake! Your body has ingrained habits, and so does your mind. 

You're used to carrying a certain amount of fat and when you try to lose it, alarm bells go off immediately: you feel ravenous, and your body goes into starvation mode. 

As you reduce your caloric intake, hoping to burn fat, your metabolism slows down, adjusting to the amount of fuel it is given. You might lose some weight initially, but then you quickly hit a "plateau": your weight stops moving. You get discouraged and give up your diet. You go back to your old eating pattern and a few weeks or months later, you regain all the weight you've so painfully lost. 

Psychologically, it's hard to change a pattern of behaviour. It takes a bit of work and persistence, and above all: time. You can't rush it, as you can't change overnight! Today you are the sum total of your habits, and you need to undo them one by one, peeling them away like the layers of an onion. 

Motivation is not always strong. It comes and goes, and on some days you feel enthusiastic about your goal, while on others, your determination weakens. You're tempted to give in to your cravings and can't resist the urge to have a chocolate bar of a piece of cake! Just because you didn't stick to your eating plan, you think you've failed. You decide to binge on the foods that you've denied yourself for the last few days or weeks. The next day, you feel awful and decide either to punish yourself by going on an even more restrictive diet, which will slow your metabolism even further, or give up your intention to lose weight altogether.  

Weight loss works if you're sensible about it. There is no instant recipe, and secret number one is to lose weight slowly and gradually. It doesn't matter how long it takes! 

Examine your excuses, e.g., "I don't have any willpower", or "I don't have time to exercise". Willpower begins with little things, like eating more fruit and vegetables instead of pies and biscuits. Or like getting up a few minutes earlier than usual to do a few stretches and prepare a nutritious breakfast.

Be patient and gentle with yourself! Secret number two is to be flexible. If you can't go to the gym, why not take a power walk for ten or twenty minutes? Wanting to do everything perfectly will set you up for failure, because no one can be perfect, and you'll slip up and make mistakes, no matter how hard you try to do things by the book.

You probably already know what you should eat, but you're confused about carbohydrates, fat and protein. I will explain how to balance these macronutrients in your diet for the best weight loss effect, and for maximum health and energy. You will never go hungry again, as you'll have plenty of satisfying food to eat! And you won't feel miserable and deprived...

Losing weight can be an exciting journey, if you're doing it right, and if you're playful about it.  My new book, "The Magic of Sensible Weight Loss" won't disappoint you. It may not be easy to lose weight, but you can achieve it in a rational way that appeals to your intelligence. I will give you all the tools to do this, and much more. The result will be magical!

With love,
Bella

"The Magic of Sensible Dieting: Healthy Weight Loss without Hunger and without Deprivation" will soon be available at Balboa Press and Amazon.com!

Open Yourself to the Light!

Water lilies symbolise beauty, purity and innocence. In Buddhism, the lotus is a symbol of enlightenment. The petals represent the different struggles you endure on your path to spiritual awakening. The centre of the flower represents the state of enlightenment. When there is a dark shadow during any experience, you can turn to the light, and you can do it consciously. You can choose to look at things with renewed hope.

"Truly I say to you, unless you are converted and become like children, you will not enter the kingdom of heaven." Matthew 18:3

Children are innocent and open to the light because they have no resistance within them. They don't dwell on the past. They put differences behind them as quickly as possible. Observe them at play, how they live fully in the present, how tolerant and forgiving they are. They don't bear grudges, and their primary concern is to create joy in the now. 

As you become a child again, you become like a water lily: your battles turn into petals. The darkness is overcome... And the Light of God triumphs as you let it into your heart, erasing all negative feelings. You finally leave behind bad memories and face a glorious present and future without hatred or prejudice. Love is all that matters, and as you open yourself to the Light, you open yourself to the power of Love.

Jesus said, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the Kingdom of Heaven belongs to such as these." Matthew 19:14

With all my love to you,

now and always

Bella

Painting: "Water Lilies" by Eugeni Balakshin, 1962, Russia.

Self Love is Selfless Love

"To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance." - Oscar Wilde

If you don't love yourself, you can't really love anyone else. And others won't love you either, at least not in the way you would like them to love you.  Treat yourself well if you want others to treat you well. Respect yourself if you want others to respect you. Love begins right here. It begins with you. Self-love comes before anything else, and it has nothing to do with arrogance or selfishness.

Stop criticising yourself, once and for all. "I am too short, too fat, too young, too old, too unfit, too lazy, too clumsy..." With this kind of self-talk, you cultivate low self-esteem, which is the source of emotional problems. You prevent yourself from achieving your full potential. You perpetuate an unforgiving attitude towards yourself, your past, your mistakes, your lack of achievement, and how you compare with others.

What others do with their lives has nothing to do with you. If they do better romantically or financially, don't envy them; be happy for them. Whatever quality you admire in others is already within yourself! You just need to "let it go", to allow it to be free and to express itself.

You are a unique human being, amazing just the way you are. If you want to change, do it for your own pleasure, not because you "have to" and not because you need to please someone else. If you really love yourself, you'll find it easy to give up habits like smoking, drinking excessively, overeating or overspending. If you really love yourself, you won't hurt yourself, just like you won't hurt other people. 

From now on, you can make a decision to treat yourself better every day. You will have understanding and compassion for yourself, the kind of empathy you would have for a little child. You will fully embrace yourself with all your assets and so-called defects of character.

If you were perfect, you would be pretty boring; there would be no mystery about you, as your "dark" side makes you exciting too! Just dare to expose it, instead of trying to hide it. People will open up to you about their own weaknesses if you tell them all the things you regret doing! You will quickly find out that you're not the only one... Only saints have halos, but you are who you are, and that's okay!

Relationships come and go. People get disappointed; they get hurt. Rejection is a part of life, but you don't need to reject yourself. The love you have for yourself will never die, no matter what happens in your life. It will always be there, even when things don't go according to plan. You have a person to live with at all times: yourself. Be your own best friend, and you'll always have good company!

It's impossible to be lonely when you love yourself. At the same time, you will be a magnet for others. People love people who genuinely love themselves, because it makes them feel good. And it makes them want to love themselves too. 

Self-love is catching. Self-love is selfless: in the end, it makes you a better person!

With much love for everyone, including myself!
Bella

Painting: "Endless Tunnel of Love" by Yelena Rubin

Start Every Day with Hope in your Heart...

"There is a crack, a crack in everything. That's how the light gets in." - Leonard Cohen (Anthem - from his album The Future).

Let the light come in through the cracks of your being. Allow the positive energy of HOPE to infuse you today. Bask in it, bathe in it, let it penetrate every pore of your skin.

Hope is at your fingertips. Forget your regrets about yesterday, and forget your worries about tomorrow. Become totally lost in the present. That's where your point of power is, right here, in the now.

Every day brings with it unlimited possibilities, new challenges and choices that are yours to make. Allow the grace and beauty of a new sunrise to touch your soul. Remove your shackles; let go of yesterday's sadness and grief. There is so much love and joy around you, but it's up to you to allow them into your experience.

Hope is an expectation in our heart of good things to come. No matter what problem you're facing right now, you know that it will get better. you trust the world to be on your side and give you the answers you need. You trust that no matter how desperate a situation is, improvement is always possible. You trust that after the rain, there will be sunshine again.

Hope is a burning flame that will never go out. Hope is life itself. It's what keeps you going, no matter what you're going through! Your wishes are there to come true. Eventually, what you pray for will become a reality...

With much love,

Bella

"God is a shower to the heart burned up with grief. God is a sun to the face deluged with tears." - Joseph Roux, Meditations of a Parish Priest.

Painting: "Sunrise" by Margret Hofheinz-Doring, 1910-1994, German.

Nothing is too Difficult !

"Whoever moves a mountain begins by carrying away small stones." - Confucius (Chinese teacher, writer, politician and philosopher, 551 - 580 BC).

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step." - Lao Tsu (Chinese poet and philosopher, author of the Tao Te Ching, 604 - 531 BC).

In my book "The Magic of Willpower",  I emphasise the importance of taking "baby steps" when you decide to do something new. To break up your task into small, manageable portions will make it less overwhelming and less daunting, and you will be more likely to stick with it. 

You can achieve anything if you do it little by little, one day at a time. If you want to lose weight for instance, begin by introducing small changes to your dietary habits. You could  eat fruit every time you feel like snacking, instead of reaching for a packet of chips or a chocolate bar. It is better to take many small steps in the right direction, rather than making a great leap forward only to stumble backwards.

There is nothing you cannot accomplish, if your desire for it is strong enough, and if you divide your project into slices that you can handle without difficulty. The secret to big accomplishments is to start out small. If you were to show a student all the books he would have to read, and all the essays he would have to write during the entirety of his study years, he would probably be discouraged and give up right away. 

Inner transformation does not happen overnight. it is a step-by-step process of creation and change. Little by little, you become better at handing over your life to God and surrendering to what is. You stop interfering with other people's business, and concentrate on your own life, without judging others and without complaining. You wake up and become aware of all the little details of your surroundings; you feel appreciation for the beauty and diversity of life.

You vision takes hold of you and little by little, you begin working towards the realisation of your dream...

With all my love,

Bella

"Flowers and Birds": Chinese silk painting by unknown artist.