So many good resolutions - but they never last! Sometimes you just can't follow through with your decisions, or you can't stick with a course of action that you've determined for yourself.
You want to have more willpower, but it seems like you have less and less of it, the harder you try... What are you doing wrong? Why is it so hard to reach your goal, even though you really really want to?
In my book "The Magic of Willpower", I explain that willpower is like a muscle. The more you exercise it, the stronger it becomes. But if you expect too much of yourself and put yourself under too much pressure, your willpower reserve will soon be exhausted. You can only draw so much on your inner strength before you become stressed. And being stressed is the worst state to be in when you want to achieve something. Although you can increase your willpower over time with specific exercises, it is a limited resource, especially at the beginning of your journey of self-improvement. You can only use a certain amount of it before it runs out.
If you force yourself to do too many things, like stick to a strict diet, exercise vigorously for a number of hours every week, avoid all harmful substances, while also learning new skills, you will draw too much of this precious energy from your inner supply. Your stream of willpower may soon run dry, especially if you force yourself to do something you don't want to do. However, I don't think this is likely to happen if you do something you enjoy.
This is the true secret of lasting willpower: to find pleasure in the actions you perform in order to achieve what you desire. To be able to do this, you need to find out what you want and why you want it. I describe this process in depth in my book, which encourage you to read. You need to keep in mind the reasons that are motivating you. For instance, "I want to eat healthy food because it will make me feel better... I will live longer, I will look younger and I will have more energy."
Motivation can come from a positive point of view, but it can also come from negative thoughts, like "I want to eat healthy food because I don't want to get diabetes or hight cholesterol and I don't want to die prematurely." Choose whatever form of self-talk works best for you, but I believe that positive images have more impact on your subconscious mind than negative ones.
Once you keep your objective in mind and focus on it intently, you can dedicate yourself to actions that feel good and require little willpower, because they require little effort. You're not forcing yourself to do this, you're doing it naturally because it's what you want and you're clear about the reasons why you want it. For instance, if you purchase and cook healthy ingredients with interest, enthusiasm and an open mind, you will be much more likely to follow through with your diet than if you go about it grudgingly while craving junk food and lollies.
With my best wishes and love,
Bella
Painting: "Red Water Lily of Southern India", 1878 by Mariannne North, British (Naturalism)
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