Willpower is Inner Mastery

"You cannot control what happens to you, but you can control your attitude toward what happens to you, and in that, you will be mastering change rather than allowing it to master you." - Brian Tracy

"All the days of the afflicted are bad but a cheerful heart has a continual feast." - Proverb 15:15

Your circumstances do not define you; it's the way you react to them that reflects who you are. You can decide to be cheerful at heart, or you can decide to feel miserable and downtrodden. You can choose to play an active role in your destiny. How? By selecting your thoughts - and ultimately, your emotions.

You're not at the mercy of your feelings, like a helpless prisoner, but you are the active participant in the inner turmoil that seems to overwhelm you at times. You can allow chaos to take over, or you can create order and harmony, by looking at the big picture, and refusing to become discouraged.

The more you dwell on a problem, the bigger it becomes, and the more helpless you feel. The problem itself doesn't cause your frustration; it's the fact that you keep worrying and obsessing about it. Put your problem aside for a while, and just concentrate on the present moment, finding pleasure in what's happening now, rather than being stuck in the past or the future. While you take your mind off a question, your subconscious will keep working on it, without you having to do anything about it. The answer will usually come to you when you expect it the least.

"A cheerful heart has a continuous feast", because no matter what's happening, you won't be affected by it, at least not in a way that will throw you off balance. Inner joy is mastery, and it is up to you to cultivate it. Negative thoughts tend to pop up in your mind in the absence of anything else. In my book, "The Magic of Willpower", I explain that the mind abhors a vacuum, and the trick is to fill it with positive thoughts, leaving no room for anything else. Darkness is just the absence of light: there is no dark switch when you enter a room.

You can shine a light on your thoughts and guide yourself with empowering statements, like "I can do this." Without being in denial about your problems, you can focus on what is good in your life, on all the areas in which you're doing well. Congratulate yourself for your achievements, even though they may seem small. The smallest progress or improvement can be an opportunity to rejoice. Without any hurdles, you wouldn't learn and you wouldn't grow as a human being.  In the end you can allow obstacles to drag you down, or you can allow them to lift you up.

With love,

Bella

Painting: "The Old Bridge" by Guy Rose, 1910, France

Who do you want to be?

"There is only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and that's your own self." - Aldous Huxley

Who exactly do you want to be? What kind of person do you want to be? What are your personal ideals? Is there someone you admire? What are the special traits of this person that you would like to make your own? It's time to stop being vague. If you wish to be an extraordinary person, if you wish to be wise and successful, begin by identifying the kind of person you aspire to become. Be specific. If you have a diary, write down who you're striving to be, so that you can refer to this self-definition. Precisely describe the kind of thoughts and behaviour you would like to adopt, so that you can preserve these when you're by yourself or in the company of other people.

In my book "The Magic of Willpower", I recommend that you examine yourself thoroughly, to find out what your values are, what's important to you, and to live according to these guidelines. For instance, if compassion and generosity are essential in your eyes, make sure your actions reflect this part of your personality. If you do something over and over, it becomes a habit, a part of you, just like the clothes you wear. Make it a habit to live according to your own ideals and principles, and you will be at peace with yourself.

With love,

Bella

Painting by Yayoi Kusama, 1988, Japan

Be Happy Now!

"In the depths of winter I finally learned there was in me an invincible summer." - Albert Camus
"But what is happiness except the simple harmony between a man and the life he leads?" - Albert Camus.

Happiness is everything, and you need to extract it from every moment of your life! Infuse it with all the joy that you can conjure up, no matter where you are and what you're doing...

Set your self a goal: it will give your life purpose and direction. Imagine arriving at your desired destination after a long and often difficult journey. At the end, you will reap the rewards for your efforts. But in the meantime, you can feel happiness too. You can enjoy the road you're taking, what I call the "process" in my book, "The Magic of Willpower". If you can find pleasure in the steps you're taking towards your dream, you're halfway there! 

Be happy now. Don't wait until you have more money, or a new job, or you've met that special person, or your illness goes away... 

Sometimes bad things happen to you. You feel sad; you feel the need to grieve - and that's okay. Accept it as a part of your journey. 

How you feel in this moment is up to you. It's your choice. You can choose to be happy, even though the world around you seems to be crumbling. Joy is a gift you can create for yourself. Take charge of your feelings; take charge of your happiness - as from today.

Seek the light instead of the shadows... Seek the sunshine, even if it rains. Look at the rainbow in the sky.

Seek the invincible summer inside of you. 

Treasure your happiness. And above all, share it with others!

With love,

Bella

Painting: "Paysage colore aux oiseaux aquatiques" by Jean Metzinger, 1907, France