"The best way to think of willpower is not as some shapeless behavioural trait but as a sort of psychic muscle, one that can atrophy or grow stronger depending on how it is used." - Jeffrey Kluger (award-winning senior writer at Time)
I like the idea of comparing willpower to a muscle, as it gives us hope that we can increase the amount of willpower we have, just like we can strengthen our muscles with regular exercise.
The force behind willpower is motivation. Without motivation, you can't achieve anything, as there is nothing to drive you towards your goal. Motivation is a sort of open-mindedness, a willingness to change and to give anything a go, if it helps you move in the direction of your choice. It entails a 'bigger picture', something that you really really want, something for which you're prepared to put in special efforts on a daily basis. Visualise what this bigger picture means to you. Imagine yourself having already achieved what you set out to do. Imagine yourself being that person, and feel what it feels like.
At the beginning of every life-changing journey, you use decision-making to choose the habits you want to adopt. You use willpower to get the habit started. Willpower is the ability to choose one course of action over another. It means delaying instant gratification, as there is something bigger than instant pleasure you want to achieve. Willpower is the power to say 'no' to temptation, while at the same time saying 'yes' to things you might not necessarily feel like doing. If you're studying for instance, you want to say 'no' to distractions like television shows, computer games or parties, and say 'yes' to spending large chunks of time with your books and notes, understanding and memorising new concepts.
The Magic of Willpower happens when you've created good habits for yourself, whether you want to pass an exam, lose weight, get into shape or simply live a more balanced lifestyle. Learning to play the piano is a good example: to master this complex instrument, regularity of practice is what guarantees your progress. You need to put aside half an hour or an hour every day, no matter what else is goes on in your life. Once this practice is in place, you won't have any trouble adhering to it. It will become an integral part of your routine, just like getting dressed or brushing your teeth.
Once the new habit is formed, the power of this magical process will take over. Don't make the mistake of wanting to do too much at the beginning though. Small habits are easier to incorporate into your lifestyle, like a twenty-minute walk compared to an hour long workout at the gym. Repetition and consistency are the key to steady improvement. Big tasks need to be divided into smaller, manageable steps, or they may seem overwhelming. When I write a book, I see this project as one paragraph at a time. I never imagine myself having to write 200 pages in one go!
The good news is that when your habit is firmly in place, you're free from the need to make decisions and to use willpower. You don't need willpower any more to follow this course of action, as it has become automatic. You have conditioned your brain and your body to behave that way, and it's now part of who you are. As you change, you create a new 'self-image', how you view yourself, and this is the true key to success, as this behaviour has now become an integral part of yourself.
For more information on how to tap into your own willpower and make your dreams come true, click on the icon at the top left of the page and you will be able to purchase a hard copy or the ebook version of my book, 'The Magic of Willpower'.
With love and my best wishes for your personal success,
Bella
Painting: 'Sea Turtles' by Maria Ryan
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