There is an element of escapism in every addiction. It prevents you from truly living in the world, living in the present moment. You reject something about the reality of your existence, and you long to be somewhere else, doing something different.
The addiction makes you postpone true enjoyment, by making you believe that this kind of behaviour is more pleasurable. You look for instant gratification; you want to feel good immediately. This is understandable, as it is every human being's desire to feel comfortable. The problem with addiction is that it will make you feel worse in the long run.
To quit an addiction, you need to acknowledge that you have one. This is not always as easy as it seems. Denial plays a big role, and you tend to downplay the extent of your dependence on a substance, whether it be chocolate, nicotine, alcohol or other drugs. You can also be addicted to certain behaviours such as gambling or pornography. A lot of people are addicted to money and earthly possessions. Of course, there is nothing wrong with enjoying material objects, as long as it is not your main purpose in life.
Acknowledge that the addiction is hurting you, both physically and mentally. Too much food and you will put on weight, jeopardising your health. Too much alcohol, and you could end up with liver cirrhosis or alcoholic dementia. Too many cigarettes, and you will put your heart and lungs at risk... The solution is to shift your attention from the addiction onto something else - to develop a craving for a healthy lifestyle. You can imagine what it would be like, how much energy you would have, how much time and quality of life.
There might be a transition period with possible withdrawal symptoms, and medical help might be necessary. To overcome this hurdle, picture the advantages of being without the addiction: the relief and the freedom to be your true self again... Some people go "cold turkey", while others prefer to reduce the addiction progressively, and gradually cut out the harmful substance or behaviour... When tempted, remind yourself why you want to quit, and how far you've come so far. Congratulate yourself for your efforts.
Quitting is about quitting, not about giving in to yourself. You can conquer your cravings and control what your body or your mind think they need. One way to overcome the urge is to replace the substance with something that will fill the gap. Physical exercise, reading, playing or listening to music, meditating, helping others, spending time with family and friends: these are constructive activities that will take your mind off your addiction. To keep busy is a good strategy, as it won't allow you to think about what you're missing. Finding a meaningful activity is the best way to stop indulging in an unwanted habit.
In my book "The Magic of Willpower", I explain that it takes 21 days to form new habits. So after three weeks, you will begin to feel better. Your body will adapt to your new lifestyle... And you will start reaping the rewards for your positive choice.
Just hang in there and never give up... It's worth it and you're worth it!
My love,
Bella
Painting; "Yellow Bignonia and Swallow-Tail Butterflies with a View of Congonhas, Brazil" by Marianne North, 1875 (Wikipaintings)
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