The True Meaning of Christmas and the New Year

"Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For everything in the world - the craving of sinful man, the lust of his eyes and the boasting of what he has or what he does - does not come from the Father but from the world. The world and its desires pass away, but the one who does the will of God lasts forever." - 1 John 2 (15-17)

Christmas symbolises unselfishness and generosity. It is a time of giving and being together to celebrate the birth of Jesus. Jesus is the light of the world and the light that shines within each of us.  We are born to new life as He was born in the manger of Bethlehem. We are ready to leave what is unwanted behind and embrace new habits, a new lifestyle, a new attitude towards ourselves, others and the world. As we discover what is really important to us and what we really want, we are ready to transform our lives. This is what I write about in my book "The magic of Willpower". There is a kind of magic when this happens, because everything falls into place, and instead of being at war with ourselves, we are at peace and we don't have to struggle to lose weight, give up smoking or drinking or controlling our anger. 

Christ is pure love and He dwells in each of us. Christ is the epitome of our highest ideals, of goodness, patience, compassion and affection. Christ is healing and growth and replaces dysfunction and destruction. "Do not love the world" means: do not thirst for status or material goods. We may be the hard working type and have a lot of ambition, chase after a lot of things, but this is not what Christ is about.  Or we can be the "lazy" type and give in to every whim and desire - with an attitude of instant gratification that may lead to painful problems such as feeling guilt and shame and having unhealthy relationships. It can also lead to being overweight or addicted to certain substances or  behaviours. 

Christmas and the New Year are a time of feasting and letting go before the first of January, a new beginning, with your New Year resolutions. Don't be too hard on yourself if you want these resolutions to last. Small changes are all you need to begin with. Look at the big picture. Listen to your inner voice and cultivate hope in your heart - no matter where you're at right now, it can only get better. 

With lots of love and my best wishes,

Bella

Painting: "The Nativity of Christ" by Vladimir Borokovsky, 1790 - 1825, Russia.

Surrender and Go with the Flow

"Always say "yes" to the present moment. What could be more futile, more insane, than to create inner resistance to what already is? What could be more insane than to oppose life itself, which is now and always now? Surrender to what is. Say "yes" to life - and see how life suddenly starts working for you rather than against you." - Eckhart Tolle

"If you just go with the flow, no matter what weird things happen along the way, you always end up
where you belong." - Tom Upton, Just Plain Weird.

This is an intelligent, friendly Universe, and it's so well orchestrated that there is no need to control anything. If you could just stop having regrets about the past and worrying about the future, you would be much better off and you would instantly feel better. At the core of your wish to manipulate others and circumstances lies FEAR. The fear that things won't turn out the way you want them to if you just let go.

The opposite of fear is love and trust. Love your life, love your circumstances and the people around you and trust that everything will be all right, even though you might be in the middle of a challenging situation. Allow things to unfold naturally, without interfering. Allow others to be who themselves, without attempting to change them and direct them. If you let go of resistance and enjoy the present moment, you will open yourself to endless possibilities. Life will be without limitation, instead of being an imitation, and it will take you to wonderful places.

Bury the hatchet and wave your peace banner. Let go of vengeful thoughts. Buddha said that resentment is like holding on to a hot coal, with the intention of throwing it at someone else; you're the one who gets burned! Make peace with others, but also make peace with yourself and your circumstances. Start where you are, and don't wait for the future to fulfil your expectations.

Everything you need is in the present moment, and every minute is an opportunity to heal and grow and have a positive outlook on life. Stop wasting your energy fighting things; it just causes stress - and stress is a killer! Choose serenity instead - remain cool, calm and collected, no matter what. Make it your philosophy that this is the best of all possible worlds, and it will be that way for you.

Surrender, forgive, go with the flow and enjoy every moment of this great journey...

With all my love,

Bella

Photo: "Black Swan" by Bella Tindale

Life is Like a River

"Eventually, all things merge into one, and a river runs through it." - Norman Fitzroy Maclean

We were born out of the sea and as we emerged from non-being into being, we were given awareness...  Life first existed in the sea, and then it grew out of it. Without life there is no awareness. There is no death; there is only life, and when the pure energy becomes physical, it expresses itself in that form. Awareness began growing in the sea, in the water, and developed from it, and manifested itself in the wonders of nature, in the creation of animals and humans. 

Life is like water, forever flowing, never ending, taking us with it. Its irresistible current pulls us and carries us like a pair of strong arms... We are like water, always moving, on a journey of discovery, heading back to the sea, the mother of all things (the French word for sea is "la mer", the mother...) We are on a journey to return to ourselves. Our days are easily absorbed by the sandy river banks, and often wasted, as we've lost our purpose, as we've lost the true meaning of life...

We continue to be pulled along and the current is sometimes fast, and sometimes slow. We have new adventures, we see new faces, and wander in wonder through exotic places. But the destination is the same: it's a return to our origins, to the beginning of Life itself.

Go with the flow, and give all the love you can while you're on this extraordinary journey. Turn your attention inward, to your thoughts, your feelings. Envision life like water, like a mighty river. Don't go against it; let it take you with it. Eventually, you will overcome all your struggles and difficulties.

With much love,

Bella

Photo: "River Congo" by Sophie Kratz

Live a Healthy Life for a Healthy Future

"The greatest wealth is health." - Vigil

You may be able to amass a lot of wealth over the years, but without your health you won't be able to enjoy it... You may be able to achieve great heights in our professional life, but what will it mean to you without wellbeing?

The only way to feel joy is to feel good within yourself, to feel at ease. The word dis-ease reflects the imbalance caused by a body that is out of tune. This is often due to the abuse we inflict on it, and to a detrimental lifestyle. On top of that you may be experiencing a lot of stress, which makes you feel powerless and even more likely to succumb to harmful habits. 

In my book "The Magic of Willpower" I will show you how to break this cycle and develop a way of life that is totally suited to the person you are. I will give you strategies to overcome any obstacles you may encounter along the way. Every day, you have the opportunity to look after your body and your mind to the best of your ability. Now is the time to begin, not tomorrow or next month or next year, or when this or that has happened. You can't keep making excuses. It's time to take things into your hands and to look after yourself. Whatever you decide to do today has a direct impact on your future health.

Drinking too much alcohol, smoking or overeating as well as taking unnecessary drugs have cumulative effects on your inner organs, and accelerate the ageing and degeneration process. Addictions are often hard to break. However, you can do it if you go back to the root of the problem: what caused you to turn to this addiction in the first place. Negative thinking, worries and anxiety, the fear you won't be able to cope may have influenced you in that direction. 

To be successful in giving up a substance or an unwanted behaviour, it's important to take your focus away from it and give your attention to the advantages of a life free of addiction: the physical and psychological benefits will be enormous and you will enjoy life and cope with problems a lot better. 

Less junk food for instance, and more fruit and vegetables, means more energy and endurance to do things that are pleasurable, such as pursuing a hobby or taking up an exercise routine. It will also make you more confident when meeting new people, as you will have this healthy glow about you!

Who we are, what we look like and how we feel: these are the consequences of our actions over a lifetime. We experience health problems as a result of negative habits. These habits have a profound effect over a number of years. But we are not helpless when it comes to our health, and we can actively do something about it. It's never too late to change. 

If you already have a chronic condition like high blood pressure or diabetes, a positive lifestyle will improve your overall health and your condition might even disappear. If you have a more serious condition such as cancer, a healthy lifestyle will boost your immune system and help you deal with pain and discomfort. Exercise too is a great immune and mood enhancer.

There is no bodily condition that can't be improved. The change begins in the mind as you become aware of your choices. Think about what you can do for yourself today: drink a lot of water, eat a variety of fresh foods, get some exercise and adequate rest. And above all, RELAX and put your worries aside!

With much love,

Bella

Painting: "Trees. Study" by Fyodor Vasilyev, Russia, 1870

We Are Like Actors in a Play

"All the world's a stage, 
And all the men and women merely players." - Shakespeare, As You Like it.

"We're actors in our lives, pretending to be
who we want people to think we are." - Simone Elkeles, author of Perfect Chemistry.

Just like an actor in a play or a movie, you have a role in your life. God is like a casting director who decides which character you will play in the big production called "life" - your life. Every person on this planet is in the same boat, meaning in the same situation, but not necessarily in the same movie. Your movie is unlike anyone else's. And while the Divine has assigned you a role without consulting you, you  can edit the script by making choices. You have a certain freedom, even though you may not be able change your body, your mind, your talents, your aspirations. Reflect on all the people that have lived, are living and will live in the future. Some will act in a short drama, others in a long one. Some lives resembles a tragedy, some a comedy at times... 

Although you can't always control the role that's been given to you, you can act as best as you possibly can and avoid complaining about it. Be grateful that you can take part in this production. You were chosen for this part, as God knew that you were totally suited for it! So no matter how difficult it seems at times, just being able to participate in this adventure is a unique and mind-blowing opportunity. From now on, whatever your circumstances, think about the big picture: your movie. Aim at giving an impeccable performance, but don't beat yourself up if you make mistakes... 

Even though you're playing a role, there is no need to be phoney. Ultimately, you'll be the spectator of your life, and you'll be pleased to see someone you can relate to, someone you can empathise with. If you're in harmony with who you really want to be, your true self, your performance will be genuine. You'll be able to look into your own eyes without apprehension. Put the past behind you and don't dwell on sad times, on injustices or missed opportunities. Move forward and live in this moment, looking ahead for good things to come.

Be kind and generous and forgiving - but don't try to please others at all cost. What they think about you makes no difference to who you are and what you're experiencing. Appreciate this role, this life you've been given and just be yourself.

With all my love,

Bella

Painting: "Arlequin, Pierrot and Scapin" by Antoine Watteau, French painter, 1716 (Wikipaintings)

Happiness Can Only Be Found Within

"Happiness doesn't depend on any external conditions, it is governed by our mental attitudes." - Dale Carnegie

"Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it." - Groucho Marx

Freedom may be the only worthy goal in life, and it is won by not paying attention to things that lie beyond your control. You can't have a joyful heart if your mind is full of fear and insecurity. 

Your happiness depends on three things, and all of them are within your power: your will, your ideas concerning events in which you're involved, and the use you make of these ideas. 

Genuine happiness is always independent of external conditions. This is why you need to practice being indifferent to them. What's happening is not worth mulling over if it's not desirable in your eyes. Disregard negative evidence and cling to your inner reality, no matter what. This is the only way you will find the authentic happiness you're seeking.

It's easy to be mislead by appearances. Job titles, degrees, honours, fame, fancy possessions, designer clothes and good looks can be deceiving. Don't make the mistake of assuming that celebrities, public figures, political leaders, the wealthy, or people with great intellectual or artistic gifts are necessarily happy! To do so is to allow yourself to be manipulated by appearances. It will do nothing for your confidence and self-esteem; it will only make you doubt yourself. Never make any assumptions about others, even if they seem very successful. 

Real satisfaction only comes from things that are under your own control. Keep this in mind, and you'll never find yourself envious of other people, or feeling sorry for yourself. You won't blame others or your circumstances for your problems, but you will begin to take responsibility for the way you feel. You won't compare yourself and your accomplishments to others any more. 

Stop wanting to be anyone other than your own best self: this is something that's within your control, something you can achieve, today and every day... This is your path to freedom and a happiness greater than anything you've experienced so far!

With much love and best wishes,

Bella

Photo by Bella Tindale

Practice Being Optimistic

"Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope."- Helen Keller

"He who is in harmony with himself is in harmony with the universe." - Marcus Aurelius


When something happens to you, you tend to react immediately, based on the emotion you feel. You think, "This person was very rude to me. Now I'm upset!" The thought comes first, then the emotion. You interpret a situation in a certain way then respond to it emotionally, which in turn makes you take action. You might get angry or simply walk away, eyes downcast, with a bad feeling in your stomach...

Reacting with negative emotion creates anger, fear, jealousy, boredom, annoyance, frustration and even despair. All these feelings have nothing to do with what's happening on the outside. The process begins in the mind. Bodily sensations follow and this is the beginning of disease ("dis-ease"). Stress causes more illnesses than all the viruses and bacterias put together!

To avoid this gloomy scenario, practice being optimistic. It's often easier said than done, but it is possible, even in the midst of a not-so pleasant situation.  Have trust in the Flow of Life, and trust that the end result of this event or problem will be to your benefit, not your detriment. In the end, everything will be all right. When you focus on a problem, you feel bad - but when you focus on a solution or a positive outcome you immediately feel better. 

In optimism there is magic, but in pessimism there is nothing. In positive expectation there is elation and success. But in pessimism or the acknowledgement of what is not wanted there is absolutely nothing, just more negativity. Redefine your relationship with Life today. Do it now, because this is the only time you can do it. Not tomorrow and not next year. 

You don't need to lie to yourself, to say that something is exactly the way you want it when it's not. All you need to do is look at things in a different light, from a different perspective. Think about topics you find interesting and appealing. Visit new places and talk to different people. Do whatever makes you feel good and in harmony with the Stream of Life.

Familiarise yourself with the joy of being alive and being one with the Universe and remember: whatever you give out will come back to you a hundredfold...

With much love,

Bella

Photo by Nina Tindale

Frugality Leads to a Contented Heart

"I have three precious things which I hold fast and prize. the first is gentleness; the second is frugality; the third is humility, which keeps me from putting myself before others. Be gentle and you can be bold; be frugal and you can be liberal; avoid putting yourself before others and you can become a leader amongst people." - Lao Tzu

"Frugality is one of the most beautiful and joyful words in the English language, and yet one that we are culturally cut off from understanding and enjoying. The consumption society has made us feel that happiness lies in having things and has failed to teach us the happiness of not having things." - Elise Boulding

To be contented means to be happy with what you've got, without craving for more all the time. You can choose to give up the rat race and all the stress it involves. Instead, you can opt for a simple, frugal lifestyle. 

To live frugally doesn't mean to live in poverty. It just means that you don't spend money that you haven't got and eventually, you'll be debt free. When you're debt-free, you don't owe anything to anyone, but when you're indebted to someone, you're basically in bondage to that person or institution. The sooner you break your shackles, the better for you: you'll regain your freedom and individuality. It will be a big weight off your shoulders!

Why do you get into debt in the first place? Maybe you want instant gratification, rather than waiting, while patiently saving up for something. Maybe you're a "shopaholic". Maybe you want to "keep up with the Jones", always comparing yourself with your neighbours, instead of concentrating on finding your own style. Society is very competitive, and advertisement wants you to believe that you can't be cool or fashionable unless you own this or that. But trends change all the time. People get paid to come up with new ideas and new strategies to make you part with your money. This is why you have come to believe that you can't just be who you are. You believe that you have to buy and identity, so you can fit in, conform and ultimately to be admired, respected and envied.

It boils down to what other people think of you. But no matter what you do, no matter how much effort you put into looking stylish and affluent, you will never be able to control other people's opinion's about you. Celebrities know this only too well; the media likes to put them down, no matter how hard they try to please. A typical example is Michael Jackson. In  his desperate effort to be perfect in the eyes of others, he achieved exactly the opposite: they mocked him instead of loving him. That really depressed him and possibly contributed to his premature death.

A lot of wealthy people started off by living frugally and not giving much importance to luxuries. They were driven by a passion that went much deeper than the accumulation of material possessions. These people are creative and full of inspiration. For instance, Wayne Dyer once said that he enjoys writing his books so much that he wouldn't care if no one ever read them. the act of writing itself gives him enough satisfaction and fulfilment. The money then is just a bonus. Despite his worldwide success as a motivational speaker, Dr. Wayne Dyer promotes a simple lifestyle and gives a great chunk of his time and money to charity.

With another world recession looming, frugality is back in fashion, and there are many websites that give you advice on how to budget and avoid spending unnecessarily. Every time you're about to buy something, ask yourself in all honesty: "Do I really need this right now?" 

"Retail therapy" may be useful when you're feeling down, but so can be a leisurely stroll in the park, coffee with a friend, an afternoon looking after children, or simply doing someone a favour. Whatever you give, it will come back to you... Never suppress a generous impulse. Give from your heart, without expecting anything in return. Do it just for the pleasure of helping others, and it will make you feel terrific!

"Whereas a covetous heart is never satisfied,
a contented heart is always secure". - Author unknown

With all my love!

Bella

Photo by Bella Tindale

Inner Beauty is More Important than Appearance!

"Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart." - Khalil Gibran

"People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within." - Elisabeth Kuebler-Ross

"God loves you just as you are. As people who have been created by God, we are infinitely precious to Him because we are His creation. Regardless of our outward appearance, we are all made with that spiritual potential to relate directly to Him, spirit to Spirit." - Corallie Buchanan

Physical beauty has become compulsory in our society and extreme measures to attain this ideal are not the exception any more. Plastic surgery is on the rise, and so readily available that you're not frowned upon if you go under the knife - rather the opposite, it's almost expected of you to enhance your appearance that way. 

Not just women but also men submit to the pressure to look their best. And not just the old and disfigured - young, good-looking people think there is something wrong with them. They believe they need surgery to correct it or make it look better. These days, anything can be improved, even if it already looks perfect! 18 year old girls have breast augmentations just because "bigger is better"... Long-term consequences of surgery (which is a drastic measure) are overlooked or ignored as the lure of an attractive body and the attention that comes with it are all that matters.

Are you only on this planet to give pleasure to the eyes and other senses? Are you only here to impress? What about your true inner gifts? These diminish as you feel compelled to put so much time and effort into enhancing your outer beauty. By distorting your natural self to please others, you're not doing yourself a favor. You acknowledge that what you are is not good enough! 

You may argue that cosmetic surgery will make you more confident. This is an illusion, because you can't buy happiness. It's a self-esteem issue, and what you need above anything else is start loving yourself. This is the answer to all your problems. Once you decide to love yourself as you are, things will begin to fall into place - and you will be content, despite your imperfections. People will only notice your smile and your sparkly eyes.

While the media and others try to define beauty in a certain way, think about how you define your own personal beauty - what it really means to you. Many people - both men and women - place all their emphasis on managing their physical appearance and the impression they make on others.

But even though society may reward you for wrong or superficial reasons, what really matters is who you are inside and who you are becoming. 

With all my love and best wishes!

Bella

Photo by Bella Tindale

What is the Real Cause of My Unhappiness?

"I am determined to be cheerful and happy in whatever situation I may find myself. For I have learned that the greater part of our misery or unhappiness is determined not by our circumstances but by our disposition." - Martha Washington

"The greatest happiness is to know the source of unhappiness." - Fyodor Dostoesvsky

The main source of your unhappiness is that you don't know what you want. In my book "The Magic of Willpower," I point out that the first thing you need to do if you wish to change anything about your life is to find out what you really desire within yourself, not just at a materialistic level.

Maybe you believe that you're dissatisfied with what you have, with the way you live, and the way other people act towards you. Now go a bit deeper. As you're digging and uncovering layer after layer of distorted thinking, you might discover what you truly feel would bring you contentment... 

If this self-examination reveals that you're upset because you feel you deserve a better car, a bigger house, a holiday or simply more money in the bank, then you need to dig much deeper. You need to find out what really causes you to be unhappy. Is it because you're envious of others? Is it because you can't enjoy what you have? Do you look for excuses so you can blame others, or even yourself and your circumstances for the way you feel?

The choice is yours. You can find peace of mind by eliminating your unhappiness right now. Acknowledge to yourself the real reasons why you react the way you do. Is it difficult for you to feel and express appreciation? From now on, develop a sense of gratitude, no matter what situation you're in, and no matter what others say or do... Do you expect others to behave according to your expectations? Then just live and let live... It takes courage, but you can do it!

With love,

Bella

Photo by Nina Tindale

The Power of Your Imagination

"Imagination is more important than knowledge. For knowledge is limited to all we now know and understand, while imagination embraces teh entire world, and all there ever will be to know and understand." - Albert Einstein

In my book "The Magic of Willpower", I talk a lot about the power of imagination and what it can do for you. When you're imagining something, while simultaneously feeling the emotion that goes with it, you're setting something in motion. You begin to move towards an outcome that you've designed for yourself and that is in harmony with your true self. 

You often limit yourself to describing the way things are right now (you call it reality). You talk about what is, instead of attempting to look further. But observing and reporting facts, even if they're real, bringing them up in conversation and thinking about them won't change them. However, by using your imagination to improve your outlook, you will do wonders for your life - you will turn it around eventually, without any doubt. That's because imagination is one of the greatest forces in the Universe. Focusing on your desires, on what you really want, is more productive than pushing your dreams away, out of fear that they might never come true.

Telling a new, embellished story straight from your imagination will do more for you then telling the "sad" story you sometimes believe that you've been living so far. Some condemn dreaming as being "unrealistic". But haven't you been realistic so far? And what has it done for you? Talking about the kind of reality that is can be depressing. It doesn't leave much room for hope and betterment...

Reality is subjective and the result of how your mind perceives your environment, as well as past and future events. You are the one who creates this reality to a large extent, just by the way you're experiencing it in your mind, in your imagination. You often feel stuck as if there is no way out. This is when creative visualisation can help. It's an effective healing tool and will assist you find solutions and overcome obstacles. Sometimes the solutions will present itself, without you having to do anything about it. Hanging on to positive images is often enough to produce this effect.

It helps to remember that all the marvellous implements you use, including computers and the internet, are the result of someone believing it was possible. Airplanes were born out of someone's conviction that it was possible to fly. Telephones were born because someone thought it was feasible to talk to someone even if you were miles away from each other...

Your most precious asset is your mind. You can create new worlds and improve old ones with your imagination. You can achieve almost any goal by using your imagination. Your thinking ability is unlimited. Thoughts don't take up any space, and you can have as many as you like without having to fear that your brain might burst!

Today, take  piece of paper and write down what you would like your life to be like. Do it in the present tense. Be confident. Don't worry about how you're going to do it or when it's going to happen. Live your dreams and dream your life with an imagination that has neither rules nor boundaries...

Enjoy the process!

Bella

Photo by Bella Tindale

With God all Things are Possible!

"If you can believe, all things are possible to him that believes." - Mark 9:23

"If you have faith the size of a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it will move; and nothing will be impossible to you." - Mark 17:20

"Did I not say to you that if you believe, you will see the glory of God?" - John 11:40

No situation in life is hopeless. Despair and hope are emotional attitudes created by your thoughts, by the way you look at things. They are not created by the circumstances of your life. 

You only give up hope because you have yet to trust in the possibility of a change for the better. The truth is that you cannot rely on your judgment alone, on what your senses are telling you. Fear can distort your reality, and give you the illusion of doom and gloom. But you're the one who creates your own roadblocks, by clinging to the idea that you can do it all by yourself. You're the one who's been putting obstacles in your way.

In my book "The Magic of Willpower", I emphasise that faith is a gift - but it is accessible to everyone, even to the biggest sceptic. Just the fact that you're alive proves that you do have faith in certain things - for instance, that the sun will rise tomorrow morning, that you will wake up and go to work (if you don't forget to set your alarm!)

You cannot say that a thing is impossible, just because you haven't been able to accomplish it so far. Once you give up the need to explain everything and to justify yourself; once you give up the need to control other people and events, you will be ready to put your life in God's hands. From then on, nothing will be out of reach for you any more. 

Allow yourself to be guided by God's will instead of your own and you will see how order will replace your internal chaos. Peace of mind will replace your distorted outlook. Love will replace all the fears you had.

With God all things are possible, and you'll see that something good is going to happen to you very soon!

With love,

Bella

Painting: "Playing with the Kitten" by Emile Munier, 1840 - 1895

How Can You Have More Willpower?

"For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing." - Romans 7:9

So many good resolutions - but they never last! Sometimes you just can't follow through with your decisions, or you can't stick with a course of action that you've determined for yourself.
You want to have more willpower, but it seems like you have less and less of it, the harder you try... What are you doing wrong? Why is it so hard to reach your goal, even though you really really want to?

In my book "The Magic of Willpower", I explain that willpower is like a muscle. The more you exercise it, the stronger it becomes. But if you expect too much of yourself and put yourself under too much pressure, your willpower reserve will soon be exhausted. You can only draw so much on your inner strength before you become stressed. And being stressed is the worst state to be in when you want to achieve something. Although you can increase your willpower over time with specific exercises, it is a limited resource, especially at the beginning of your journey of self-improvement. You can only use a certain amount of it before it runs out.

If you force yourself to do too many things, like stick to a strict diet, exercise vigorously for a number of hours every week, avoid all harmful substances, while also learning new skills, you will draw too much of this precious energy from your inner supply. Your stream of willpower may soon run dry, especially if you force yourself to do something you don't want to do. However, I don't think this is likely to happen if you do something you enjoy.

This is the true secret of lasting willpower: to find pleasure in the actions you perform in order to achieve what you desire. To be able to do this, you need to find out what you want and why you want it. I describe this process in depth in my book, which  encourage you to read. You need to keep in mind the reasons that are motivating you. For instance, "I want to eat healthy food because it will make me feel better... I will live longer, I will look younger and I will have more energy."

Motivation can come from a positive point of view, but it can also come from negative thoughts, like "I want to eat healthy food because I don't want to get diabetes or hight cholesterol and I don't want to die prematurely." Choose whatever form of self-talk works best for you, but I believe that positive images have more impact on your subconscious mind than negative ones.

Once you keep your objective in mind and focus on it intently, you can dedicate yourself to actions that feel good and require little willpower, because they require little effort. You're not forcing yourself to do this, you're doing it naturally because it's what you want and you're clear about the reasons why you want it. For instance, if you purchase and cook healthy ingredients with interest, enthusiasm and an open mind, you will be much more likely to follow through with your diet than if you go about it grudgingly while craving junk food and lollies.

With my best wishes and love,

Bella

Painting: "Red Water Lily of Southern India",  1878 by Mariannne North, British (Naturalism)

A Truthful Person Knows No Fear

"There is no religion greater than truth and a truthful person knows no fear." - from the Rig Veda

A truthful person is open, and has nothing to hide. What is the truth? You can find out by looking at the mess you're in right now and admit where you went wrong... In my book "The Magic of Willpower" I point out that mistakes are unavoidable; they're part of our human experience. The secret is to recognise them and learn from them, and to get back on track as soon as possible, without getting bogged down by unnecessary guilt.

Once you've admitted your mistakes, which can take quite a bit of courage,  you can correct them. Self-examination is useful as it helps you to develop a sense of responsibility and empowerment. It also makes you humble as you realise that you're not perfect and that you've got a lot to learn. At the same time, it gives you the opportunity to grow.

The truth often hurts, because it isn't pleasant to look at your own faults. It's much easier to blame others for your problems. But It's also pointless to keep blaming yourself, and to fall into the trap of endlessly regretting your past actions...

Be ready to change, as you fully accept your current situation and surrender to the guidance of your Conscience. How can you do this? By talking to yourself, and to others... By asking, listening, praying, meditating and reading uplifting books... There is no given solution, but introspection is the beginning of your journey. As you're looking inside, you're preparing yourself to receive inspiration from the outside.

You can attempt to figure out what sort of impact your actions will have on others and yourself, but there are no guarantees. No one can predict the future with accuracy. Allow yourself to be guided by empathy - putting yourself in other peoples' shoes - and by love. In the end, love is the only thing that matters. Only love is real. Love is your true nature. Love is Truth.

"Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth." - 1 Corinthians 13:6

Painting: "Resting Tiger" by LeRoy Neiman, American (1921-2012)

The World of Your Divine Spirit

"The only journey is the journey within." - Rainer Maria Rilke

Walking the path of your life journey, one step at a time, you wonder why you are here and what you are doing... Is there any meaning to your existence? How can you be in harmony with who you really are - and with the Universe?

In my book "The Magic of Willpower", I point out the importance of knowing yourself and knowing what you want, before you can making any strong decisions. You live today, every day, thinking certain thoughts, speaking certain words, performing certain actions... Are these a reflection of your own values, your own principles?

How can you be sure that this is what you are supposed to do? Where is the bigger picture that encompasses all life forms? Sometimes, you just trudge along, not knowing where this road will lead you... All you can do is cling to your dream and eventually, you will discover the truth - if not about this world, then about your inner world. The inner realm that comprises all your thoughts and feelings... Is it connected to the Source of all life? 

This is your Divine Spirit, and it has all the answers, all the wisdom required for spiritual enlightenment... Reflecting on what is happening and how it is affecting you, "going within" allows you to get in touch with your true self, to undertake an inner journey as opposed to an outer one. This is a lifelong adventure and it will take you to many breathtaking places...

You check your perceptions against your emotions and find out whether what you perceive through your senses resonates with your inner being. You decide that whatever is in harmony with your vision can be kept, and what is discordant can be discarded. And just like music, what sounds discordant to you might not sound discordant to someone else.

But what is important is how you feel about what you observe, how you integrate that knowledge - how you transform it according to your dream. And when outer knowledge corresponds to inner wisdom, you gain a new insight that has the power to change who you are and how you live your life...

With much love,

Bella

Painting: "Moonlight" by Frederick Childe Hassam, American (1859 - 1935)

The Art of Being Joyful

Being joyful does not depend on external circumstances. It's a commitment, and it comes from a decision you make, regardless of what goes on around you. Being joyful means savouring every moment to the fullest, without guilt and without regrets.

In my book "The Magic of Willpower", I emphasise the importance of living in the present moment. Living in the now, without worrying about tomorrow, is pure joy... And so is appreciating every little thing that comes your way, every opportunity you have to share something with others.

When I think about joy, I think about children, how they are experts at living in the moment and making the most out of it. A child's innocent and irresistible smile is a delight that has no equivalent. In contrast, adults seem to have too much weight on their shoulders. They have too much to grumble about to allow themselves such incomparable bliss, which does not involve money or status.

Joy is accessible to everyone, and it has nothing to do with achievements or fancy titles. The real measure of your success is how much contentment you have in your heart. Love gives you pure joy. Giving without expecting anything in return gives you lasting satisfaction and a feeling of peace.

Life can be easy if you stop complaining and gossiping about others, and seeking retaliation. What others do or say has nothing to do with you; it's their choice, their destiny... But you can decide to have uplifting thoughts and feelings, and to help others develop the same attitude, just through your example.

Children teach you how to live fully in the present, without dwelling on the past or dreading the future. The spirit of God shines through their glorious smiles... This how they share their joy with you, their pleasure of being alive. And it's your most treasured gift, something you can keep in your heart for the rest of your life.

Joy is a decision, not a reaction to what's happening. When things go right, it's easy to feel elated; when things go wrong, it's a challenge to remain joyful and optimistic. But what a rewarding feeling of true happiness it is!

Have a wonderful day,

Bella

Painting by Edmund Adler (Austrian, 1876 - 1965)

Allow Divine Light to Shine within You

"The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it."-John 1:5
"The true light that gives light to everyone was coming into the world."-John 1:9

Look inside yourself and examine your true nature with an open mind. Forget what you've been told, what you're supposed to believe or to reject. You were created with a piece of God within you, a spark of light from God.

This light was ignited long before you were born and will stay with you throughout your life and your afterlife - eternally. It has no beginning, no end, just like your spirit, this part of you that enables you to feel close to your Creator. Your soul is also eternal, and it's the total sum of you with all your experiences and the lessons you've learnt from them. Divine light infuses your body with life, and you are a spiritual being...

There is a divine light that shines within you. Think about it, picture it in your mind, and allow it to become bigger and bigger. It might be the size of a pinhead to begin with or even smaller, a tiny particle. But as you allow it to grow, it will turn into a golf ball, a tennis ball, a football. It will take over your brain, your body, your whole being! You are made of light and you are meant to shine. Life itself is light and cannot exist without light. Light is pure love, pure positive energy that radiates everywhere, you're pulsing with it and illuminating everything around you with your smile, your appreciation and your sense of humour! You brighten other people's day by your sheer presence!

When you go into a room, there is no dark switch. Darkness doesn't exist - it is a vacuum, an illusion. Darkness is only the absence of light, just like fear is the absence of love. Evil is the absence of the love of God. But darkness doesn't have the power to extinguish light. The wind might blow the candle out because it pushes air onto the flame - but darkness can't do that. Darkness is static and only exists because there is also brightness as a contrast. Without darkness, we wouldn't know light. And shadows are only there because something is obscuring the light. And they only appear to dance because something else is moving against the rays of the sun.

The slice of cake is the same as the cake. You are a slice of the Divine and you are no different from it. A sample of your blood is no different from the blood that is in your body. So how can you believe that you're indeed a part of God, a child of God, and yet you won't allow yourself to be like the one who created you? Even though they have different features and individual characteristics, your children are the same as you are, they can do the same. Just because you're part of something bigger than yourself doesn't mean you're inferior to it. The slice of cake is just as delicious as the cake itself.

Be true to yourself and live a life of love - shine your light on everything, with kindness, understanding, compassion. Always put yourself in other people's shoes. Feel what they are feeling - experience the world form their point of view and you will easily forgive them for not being up to your expectations. And forgive yourself too for not being up to your expectations of yourself...

With all my love,

Bella

Painting: "The Pine Tree at St. Tropez" by Paul Signac, 1909

What is Going to Happen to Me?

"It is not in the stars to hold our destiny but in ourselves." - William Shakespeare

"I believe that you control your destiny, that you can be what you want to be. You can also stop and say, 'No, I won't do it, I won't behave this way anymore. I'm lonely and I need people around me, maybe I have to change my methods of behaving, and you do it." -Leo Buscaglia

"What's going to happen to me?" is what you ask yourself in times of troubles or uncertainty. It reflects a basic insecurity and the desire to find out what the future holds for you. What's going to happen to you won't happen through chance or accident though. You are not powerless over your fate. As I emphasise in my book, "The Magic of Willpower", you are paving your future with your choice of thoughts, emotions and actions. The future is the result of the present moment you're living.

You may not be able to control your circumstances, but you can choose the way you wish to feel about them. You can feel sad, miserable, frustrated or even angry about the injustices that life dishes out to you. But that kind of attitude won't be of much help. You need to look at things from a different perspective. You may not have been very lucky so far. You may have made a lot of mistakes; because you didn't know any better, or you didn't have the courage to do things differently. Other people may not have treated you very well. It seems like you've experienced more downs than ups, and that's so unfair!

But you've also learnt a lot of valuable lessons! After all, life wasn't meant to be a bed of roses. Life is more about making mistakes, correcting them, and starting anew. We learn because actions have consequences and these are not always pleasant, but they enable us to grow. Growing pains are a normal part of our life path, and they almost always lead to something beautiful and valuable.

You may not know for sure what's going to happen to you, but you can be optimistic and visualise a positive outcome, rather than the worst possible scenario. Sometimes you feel you have no control over your destiny, and you might be right to a certain extent. In the end, it's all in the hands of God or the Universe. God responds to your prayers, just like the Universe responds to your vibrations.

Emotions are thoughts in motion. They are dynamic, and they influence what your future will be. If you feel good about yourself and the world around you, you will attract good circumstances. if you feel bad and complain a lot, you will get more to complain about. Accept what you've been given, even though it's not exactly what you want. Maybe you have what you don't want because you keep focusing on scarcity and lack and sadness, rather than abundance, prosperity and joy.

And abundance is not just about money. it's about being content, and feeling grateful for what you've got, even if it isn't much. After all you've got your eyes, because you can read this, and you've got your life, or you wouldn't be here right now. And where is life going to take you? What's going to happen to you? You're the one who decides.

You can begin by deciding how you will feel about your present situation. Are you going to continue feeling sorry for yourself, frightened and worried about tomorrow? Or are you going to trust God and the Universe that they will look after you and guide you towards a happy ending?

Take your life into your own hands and decide to make it a happy life, no matter what. Stop worrying and know within yourself that everything will be all right - and it will.

I wish you all the best today and every day,

Bella

Painting: "Path at la Cavee, Pourville" by Claude Monet, 1882

How Can I Find Love?

"Those that go searching for love, only manifest their own lovelessness. And the loveless never find love, only the loving find love. And they never have to seek for it." - D. H. Lawrence

"Love can only be found through the act of loving." - Paulo Coelho

"You don't have to go looking for love when it's where you come from." - Werner Erhard

You are not meant to lead a lonely life, and it is normal to long for a lover, a special person who will share everything with you, sorrow and joy, pain and pleasure, struggle and success...You are meant to learn and to grow within this relationship, and move closer to the Divine that created you and that dwells within you.

You probably have been told that to find love, you need to love yourself first. This is a bit a a platitude that you don't want to hear right now. It's easy to say, but not so easy to do. For some people, it's a very tall order, as they may suffered mistreatment or abuse (especially psychological abuse) and loving the self is a lifelong task. 

Consider the problem for another angle. Instead of thinking about how to obtain it, concentrate on your desire to give love.  Instead of wondering what is in it for you, whenever you consider a relationship, why not ask yourself instead, "How can I improve this person's life - contribute to his or her wellbeing?" This way, you don't need to worry whether you love yourself or whether you deserve love in the first place. 

Love is everywhere and you will soon come across it if you keep an open mind and mix with a lot of different people. Tell your friends and acquaintances about your intention of finding love. You will be surprised how happy they will be to assist you. Get out of your comfort zone and dare to do things that you wouldn't normally do - feel the fear and do it anyway!

The best way to find love and to practice being in a relationship is to develop this kind of intimacy with your Higher Power. The relationship you have with the Divine is a blueprint for any relationship you will have in your life. Allow God to create within you the qualities that will make you a loving partner for someone else.  Ask yourself what you can give before wondering what you will receive in return. God is pure love and that's where you came from - pure loving energy and nothing else. It is your natural state of being, to enjoy and to share with a special individual in your life.

With my best wishes and may all your dreams come true...

Bella

Painting: "The Happy Lovers" Jean-Honore Fragonard

Master the Art of Doing Nothing

Photo by Bella Tindale

Sometimes you are so busy you forget to take time for yourself. You run from one task to another, never slowing down. You feel you can achieve a lot while keeping active, until one day, everything breaks down and you become ill. Then you are forced to lie in bed and do nothing. You can finally "take stock" and make contact with your Inner Self. This Inner Self has been trying to talk to you for a long time, and it never gives up. It has been trying to tell you to examine your priorities, what is really important, what you live for. Because it's only when you're not busy that you can truly reflect on the meaning of life. The meaning of your life...

In my book "The Magic of Willpower", I emphasise that in between periods of productivity, it vital to plan periods of leisure, relaxation or meditation, in order to recharge your batteries. I will go one further now and say that it is vital to plan times when you do absolutely nothing. This is not as easy as it sounds. But fortunately, doing nothing is an art that can be learnt.

Doing nothing doesn't mean sleeping or watching TV or checking your Facebook account, or walking or talking. If you have a stressful life, and most of you do, you will find it very difficult not to do anything at all. But remind yourself that if being active is essential, being inactive during certain times is equally important. This seems paradoxical, especially in a society where people constantly strive for success and self-improvement. How is your life going to get better if you do nothing? Don't you have to put every minute of the day to good use? Isn't time supposed to be money? On top of that you dread boredom, and you tend to feel guilty when you're not productive.

The problem is that when you're always busy, you don't have time to focus on yourself. A lot of people fear inaction, as well as silence, to the point that they cannot spend quiet time, without a constant blaring background of radio, music or television. Of course if you enjoy music, don't deprive yourself of it. But there is a time for everything. There is a time to listen to music of your choice, and there is a time to listen to silence. Now you're connecting with your Inner Self as you're focusing on your breathing and emptying your mind. It may only last for a few seconds, a few minutes, an hour or even longer. You allow your thoughts to drift without getting attached to any of them. Afterwards you will feel rejuvenated and your creative juices will flow more freely. You will experience a sense of deep calm and renewed strength within you.

With much love,

Bella

How Can I Be Happy ?

" The purpose of our lives is to be happy."
- Dalai Lama
"Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions."
- Dalai Lama

"Happiness depends upon ourselves."
-Aristotle


Happiness is a feeling of wellbeing and contentment. Happiness doesn't depend on status, achievements, ideal body or ideal relationship. It doesn't depend on how much money you have in the bank; some wealthy people are very unhappy. Happiness is an attitude that comes from within you - no matter what goes on on the outside.

In my book "The Magic of Willpower", I explain that happiness comes from being in harmony with who you really are and what you really want. It happens when your actions result from your inner values. For instance, if honesty is important to you, living a truthful life will make you happy. If helping others is important to you, acting with compassion and generosity will make you happy.  If being faithful to your partner is important, living in accordance with this principle will make you happy. Happiness is a choice; it doesn't depend on external circumstances. 

Once you've made a decision to be happy, don't deviate from it, even if you think you should be miserable in your present situation. Stop reacting to everything. Something unpleasant happens - and your instinct is to be upset and to lash out. Stop yourself from doing or saying anything. Stop yourself from thinking negatively about it. Refuse to give in to an outside reality that doesn't match up with your inner truth, your inner desire of living a life of bliss. You might see or hear things that deny this belief. Don't dwell on them, and quickly bring back your attention to your desire to experience wellbeing and contentment at all times. How good you feel is really up to you...

Others cannot make you unhappy unless you allow them to do so. You don't want to give them this power over you. "My parents, my partner, my brother, my sister, my child, my co-worker... is making me unhappy." It could be any external relationship, but the point is that your happiness never depends on it. It only depends on you, so demonstrate it. Be happy, no matter what they are doing. Practice feeling good all day every day. Don't give others responsibility for the way you feel, and suddenly, you will begin to love them all. The only reason you didn't love them is because you were using them as an excuse to be unhappy...

With love,

Bella

Painting: "Golden Autumn" by Isaac Levitan, 1895 (Wikipaintings)

How Can I Feel Better?

First ask yourself why you're not feeling good. This is more easily said than done, because complaints are often vague and generalised. When you don't feel good, everything is like doom and gloom, and the clouds have no silver lining. There seems to be no light at the end of the tunnel, just endless darkness... But here are seven powerful, very simple techniques to help you feel good - instantly!

1) Forgiveness
If you have been abused of treated unfairly, a good exercise is to forgive. This doesn't mean letting perpetrators off the hook. But you're doing it for yourself, for your own wellbeing and peace of mind. Let go of all the things that people did to you and that you didn't deserve. Let go of the things that people didn't do and that you did deserved (e.g. when your partner didn't give you a birthday present!)

2) Stop complaining
Spend a whole day without complaining, and without blaming or criticising anyone, not even yourself. This is also easier said than done. You may find that you'll have nothing to talk about! Why not talk about a book or a movie, instead of falling into the trap of gossiping about other people (including celebrities)

3) Be grateful
Find something to be grateful for. If you are in a lot of pain, this may sound impossible. But there is at least one part of your body that is working. Maybe you're reading this - which means you can see, or someone is reading it to you - which means you can hear. If there is nothing to be grateful for regarding your body, you can at least tell yourself that you're alive and that your heart is beating. Two things to be thankful for!

4) Devise an action plan
If you don't have a job and feel bored and without a purpose, devise an action plan for the day. If you keep yourself occupied, you'll have less time to mull over things and feel sorry for yourself... There is always a drawer that needs sorting out. Clean the fridge and throw out all the half-rotten items at the back. It will make you feel better - guaranteed! Go for a walk. Exercise your body, it will stimulate your Endorphins (a natural feel-good drug that your body produces when you exert yourself physically) Fresh air and sunshine are uplifting and they are the only items we can obtain free of charge!

5) Enjoy your job 
If you work but hate your job, make it a point to enjoy it, just for today. Be as thorough and efficient as possible. Smile a lot, pay someone a compliment ("Your hair looks really nice today"). Don't find fault with anyone. Instead, find something positive about everyone, even the people you dislike. Don't procrastinate but get things done as quickly as possible, without cutting corners.  Feel the contentment that comes from a completed task, even if it's just a routine, something you've done a million times. Be conscious of what you're doing instead of going about it like a machine, a robot. 

6) Appreciate your life
If you don't like your life, watch a documentary about people who are worse off than yourself. This will make you realise how fortunate you are and you will begin appreciating simple things like living in a safe neighbourhood, having a roof over your head, and food on the table every day. I recommend "Welcome to the Slums of India", a BBC film you can find on YouTube.

7) Have a laugh 
Laughter is another way to turn on the Endorphins in your body. At least, find something to smile about. Even if you can't find anything, you can begin by laughing at yourself, and taking yourself less seriously. If there was a funny movie about your life, a comedy, what would it be like? Don't you think that some of the awkward moments are worth a smile? You can turn your life into a tragedy of course, but that wouldn't help very much...

In my book, "The Magic of Willpower", I mention that no matter how desperate your situation, you can always improve it by looking at it from a different perspective. When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at begin to change. And right now, you're paving a new way for your future.

With all my love,

Bella

Painting: "Poor Lisa" by Orest Kiprenski, 1827 (Wikipaintings)

Eleven Principles for a Spiritual Life

In my book "The Magic of Willpower", I explain that willpower is the key to lasting happiness and contentment. This is because it will enable you to be exactly the person you want to be. If you also want to lead a purposeful and joyful life, meditate on these eleven principles and start applying them in every situation:


1) FORGIVE - Don't seek retribution or revenge. Forgiveness is the biggest step towards peace of mind.

2) FOCUS ON THE NOW - Don't look back, don't dwell on the past. Don't feel endless remorse over past actions, but decide to learn from them. Correct any mistakes and make amends to people whenever possible.

3) LOOK INTO THE FUTURE WITH HOPE - Things will get better. Events have a natural tendency to work out for the best, especially if you put all your trust in your Higher Power.

4) TAKE RESPONSIBILITY - For your life and your actions. Stop blaming others. Always look for the good in yourself and others. Stop criticising and judging yourself and others. Give people positive commands: tell them clearly what you expect of them, in a nice way of course.

5) BE OPTIMISTIC - Repeat to yourself, "All is well and will continue to be well. Good things are coming my way... In God's time, not in mine!" Know that you deserve good in your life.

6) YOUR ENEMIES ARE YOUR BEST TEACHERS - Human beings are all the same. Even though you like certain people better than others, make it a point to love your enemies even more than anyone else. Be grateful for them, because they make you aware of what you need to change within yourself - and they do it free of charge! They make you aware of your weaknesses, such as lack of tolerance, patience or empathy.

7) ACCEPT ANGER FOR WHAT IT IS - A transitory emotion. Don't fight it. It is normal to get angry, and there is nothing inherently bad about it. Feel your anger, analyse the reason for it, but don't act on it. Talk about it once you've calmed down, if you wish to do so. Communication is very important.

8) KNOW YOUR BOUNDARIES - Learn to say "No" to avoid stress and burnout. Sometimes, enough is enough and you need to recognise when you've reached your limits. Recognise when others overstep your boundaries and take advantage of you. It's okay to help other people, but you need to help yourself too. After all, you're a "people" too!

9) SURRENDER TO YOUR HIGHER POWER - Don't fight fate. Instead, let go and let God. Trust your gut feeling, your conscience, your emotions: God's voice inside of you. If you allow Him to take over and guide you, your burden will feel much lighter and the road ahead much smoother.

10) LIVE A SPIRITUAL LIFE - Always remind yourself of your spiritual and divine purpose in this existence. You're not a physical being having a spiritual experience, you're a spiritual being having a physical experience.

11) LAUGH A LOT - If you laugh, you can't be sad or angry. Looking a the funny side of things breaks the ice and helps you relax. But don't laugh at others - only laugh at yourself.

I promise you that these principles will change your life!

With much love,

Bella


Painting: "Water Lilies" by Claude Monet, 1916 (Wikipaintings)