How Can I Be Happy ?

" The purpose of our lives is to be happy."
- Dalai Lama
"Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions."
- Dalai Lama

"Happiness depends upon ourselves."
-Aristotle


Happiness is a feeling of wellbeing and contentment. Happiness doesn't depend on status, achievements, ideal body or ideal relationship. It doesn't depend on how much money you have in the bank; some wealthy people are very unhappy. Happiness is an attitude that comes from within you - no matter what goes on on the outside.

In my book "The Magic of Willpower", I explain that happiness comes from being in harmony with who you really are and what you really want. It happens when your actions result from your inner values. For instance, if honesty is important to you, living a truthful life will make you happy. If helping others is important to you, acting with compassion and generosity will make you happy.  If being faithful to your partner is important, living in accordance with this principle will make you happy. Happiness is a choice; it doesn't depend on external circumstances. 

Once you've made a decision to be happy, don't deviate from it, even if you think you should be miserable in your present situation. Stop reacting to everything. Something unpleasant happens - and your instinct is to be upset and to lash out. Stop yourself from doing or saying anything. Stop yourself from thinking negatively about it. Refuse to give in to an outside reality that doesn't match up with your inner truth, your inner desire of living a life of bliss. You might see or hear things that deny this belief. Don't dwell on them, and quickly bring back your attention to your desire to experience wellbeing and contentment at all times. How good you feel is really up to you...

Others cannot make you unhappy unless you allow them to do so. You don't want to give them this power over you. "My parents, my partner, my brother, my sister, my child, my co-worker... is making me unhappy." It could be any external relationship, but the point is that your happiness never depends on it. It only depends on you, so demonstrate it. Be happy, no matter what they are doing. Practice feeling good all day every day. Don't give others responsibility for the way you feel, and suddenly, you will begin to love them all. The only reason you didn't love them is because you were using them as an excuse to be unhappy...

With love,

Bella

Painting: "Golden Autumn" by Isaac Levitan, 1895 (Wikipaintings)