What is the Real Cause of My Unhappiness?

"I am determined to be cheerful and happy in whatever situation I may find myself. For I have learned that the greater part of our misery or unhappiness is determined not by our circumstances but by our disposition." - Martha Washington

"The greatest happiness is to know the source of unhappiness." - Fyodor Dostoesvsky

The main source of your unhappiness is that you don't know what you want. In my book "The Magic of Willpower," I point out that the first thing you need to do if you wish to change anything about your life is to find out what you really desire within yourself, not just at a materialistic level.

Maybe you believe that you're dissatisfied with what you have, with the way you live, and the way other people act towards you. Now go a bit deeper. As you're digging and uncovering layer after layer of distorted thinking, you might discover what you truly feel would bring you contentment... 

If this self-examination reveals that you're upset because you feel you deserve a better car, a bigger house, a holiday or simply more money in the bank, then you need to dig much deeper. You need to find out what really causes you to be unhappy. Is it because you're envious of others? Is it because you can't enjoy what you have? Do you look for excuses so you can blame others, or even yourself and your circumstances for the way you feel?

The choice is yours. You can find peace of mind by eliminating your unhappiness right now. Acknowledge to yourself the real reasons why you react the way you do. Is it difficult for you to feel and express appreciation? From now on, develop a sense of gratitude, no matter what situation you're in, and no matter what others say or do... Do you expect others to behave according to your expectations? Then just live and let live... It takes courage, but you can do it!

With love,

Bella

Photo by Nina Tindale