How to Have More Willpower

"The best way to think of willpower is not as some shapeless behavioural trait but as a sort of psychic muscle, one that can atrophy or grow stronger depending on how it is used." - Jeffrey Kluger (award-winning senior writer at Time)

I like the idea of comparing willpower to a muscle, as it gives us hope that we can increase the amount of willpower we have, just like we can strengthen our muscles with regular exercise.

The force behind willpower is motivation. Without motivation, you can't achieve anything, as there is nothing to drive you towards your goal. Motivation is a sort of open-mindedness, a willingness to change and to give anything a go, if it helps you move in the direction of your choice. It entails a 'bigger picture', something that you really really want, something for which you're prepared to put in special efforts on a daily basis. Visualise what this bigger picture means to you. Imagine yourself having already achieved what you set out to do. Imagine yourself being that person, and feel what it feels like.

At the beginning of every life-changing journey, you use decision-making to choose the habits you want to adopt. You use willpower to get the habit started. Willpower is the ability to choose one course of action over another. It means delaying instant gratification, as there is something bigger than instant pleasure you want to achieve. Willpower is the power to say 'no' to temptation, while at the same time saying 'yes' to things you might not necessarily feel like doing. If you're studying for instance, you want to say 'no' to distractions like television shows, computer games or parties, and say 'yes' to spending large chunks of time with your books and notes, understanding and memorising new concepts.

The Magic of Willpower happens when you've created good habits for yourself, whether you want to pass an exam, lose weight, get into shape or simply live a more balanced lifestyle. Learning to play the piano is a good example: to master this complex instrument, regularity of practice is what guarantees your progress. You need to put aside half an hour or an hour every day, no matter what else is goes on in your life. Once this practice is in place, you won't have any trouble adhering to it. It will become an integral part of your routine, just like getting dressed or brushing your teeth.

Once the new habit is formed, the power of this magical process will take over. Don't make the mistake of wanting to do too much at the beginning though. Small habits are easier to incorporate into your lifestyle, like a twenty-minute walk compared to an hour long workout at the gym. Repetition and consistency are the key to steady improvement. Big tasks need to be divided into smaller, manageable steps, or they may seem overwhelming. When I write a book, I see this project as one paragraph at a time. I never imagine myself having to write 200 pages in one go!

The good news is that when your habit is firmly in place, you're free from the need to make decisions and to use willpower. You don't need willpower any more to follow this course of action, as it has become automatic. You have conditioned your brain and your body to behave that way, and it's now part of who you are. As you change, you create a new 'self-image', how you view yourself, and this is the true key to success, as this behaviour has now become an integral part of yourself.

For more information on how to tap into your own willpower and make your dreams come true, click on the icon at the top left of the page and you will be able to purchase a hard copy or the ebook version of my book, 'The Magic of Willpower'.

With love and my best wishes for your personal success,

Bella

Painting: 'Sea Turtles' by Maria Ryan

Encourage Your Children to Be Physically Active

"Never hurry. Take plenty of exercise. Always be cheerful. Take all the sleep you need. You may expect to be well." - James Freeman Clarke.

Regular physical activity is one of the highest priorities for children. A healthy diet is a good start, but nothing compares to moving your body at a young age. Kids naturally enjoy being active and love to exercise, especially if it's done in a friendly environment, just for fun, and without competition. The enjoyment of physical exercise from an early age, and the influence of parents, teachers and friends contribute to shaping a lifelong positive attitude towards sport and exercise. 

Children have different needs and interests, depending on personality and stage of development. They are quick to learn skills, may develop a passion that can last a lifetime, whether it be for dancing, ice-skating, tennis, swimming, gymnastics, horse-riding or archery. Ball games are very popular, as they enhance motor skills and team spirit. In a team effort, everyone works together to obtain a final result. Even if the team loses, there are so many good moments and learning opportunities. Friendships are formed and often last a lifetime; these instants are unique and will never be forgotten!

The emphasis on enjoyment  and having fun with a group of friends, rather than winning at all cost, will encourage children to participate in a wide variety of sports and disciplines at school, within the community, and with family and friends. Offer young people a range of options to choose from, so there is a better chance of finding something they enjoy, and that suits them individually. Children who enjoy the rewards of sports participation, such as belonging to a team, achieving goals and learning new skills, are more likely to continue playing sport throughout adolescence and adulthood. 

While it's good to encourage physical activity, inactive pastimes should be avoided as much as possible. Some sedentary activities are extremely popular with children: TV, computer games, portable games, the internet, youtube videos, DVDs and mobile phone messaging. These couch-potato activities lead to motion deprivation. Instead of moving, these youngsters spend hours doing little more than sitting down, and possibly eating junk food at the same time. More than 60 minutes a day of any of these activities, and there looms the danger of ending up with serious health and behavioural consequences.

Parents are role models and by setting a good example, they have a unique opportunity to have a positive impact on their children's exercise habits. The home environment is a powerful influence, and if mum and dad go swimming, walking or jogging for instance, the kids will more than likely join in these activities and follow in their footsteps. Children are good learners. They learn by what they see and they love to imitate their parents' behaviour. They basically copy what you do, whether it's healthy or harmful! So choose healthy foods and active pursuits for yourself. Your children will want to follow your habits, and emulate their parents' desire to be healthy and active. 

If you haven't given exercise much thought but would like to give it a go, for yourself and your children, do it progressively. Introduce changes gradually. The more gradual the changes you make for yourself and your family, and the more support available, the more likely you and your children are likely to succeed and develop strong and permanent exercise habits. When you do start to make these changes, make sure you are well informed. There is the child's growth and development to consider, and valuable lessons about exercise that will last a lifetime.

With much love,

Bella

Wat is Enlightenment?

Enlightenment is your ultimate goal. Every day brings you closer to this state of mind, in which there is no room for dramas or petty arguments. When you cultivate enlightenment, your consciousness begins to shift. You begin to see the bigger picture. You ask yourself,  "Does it really matter?" or "Do I really have to prove that I am right?"

Why not let it go? Fighting uses up more energy than giving in. Instead of arguing and stubbornly sticking to your point of view, why not do things differently for a change? You can put yourself in the other person's shoes. You can listen to this person, and offer them unlimited understanding and compassion.

Enlightenment allows you to reach a higher level of consciousness. You become more detached, without turning into a robot. Your human heart is not only intact, it is magnified. From now on, you choose NOT to react blindly to what people are doing or saying. You become more introspective. You become aware of your thought processes and how they influence your emotions. You start seeing things from a different perspective, in a different light. You realise that true knowledge comes from the heart, not the head. It shines a light on the darkness inside of you and all around you.

As you become enlightened, you turn into a shining light yourself. You attract other people to you: people who want to be like you, people who want what yo've got. You become a leader to them, a role model. You don't talk about your knowledge; you don't brag. You simply live that way because it makes you feel better, more at peace with yourself and the world.

Enlightenment means you are becoming lighter. All of a sudden, your daily burden is not so heavy any more. Life becomes easier, as you don't take things so much to heart any more. You're not so serious any more; you lighten up and develop a sense of humour. You realise that life is full of problems, but it is also full of solutions and opportunities.

Enlightenment is not something you need to strive for all the time. It is not out of your reach. On the contrary, it is right here, right in front of you, if you open yourself to it. Open your heart to the  light. Let go of your problems, your resentments, your anger, your unfulfilled desires. You inner light will shine and become stronger. It will become your reality, day after day.

Your journey of inner transformation is beginning right now, at this very moment. It's happening while you're reading this! Enjoy it, and have a beautiful, light-filled day.

With all my love,

Bella

Painting:"Large Orange Lotus" by Paul Heussenstamm