There is a contempt for fat in society, while skinny people seem to get all the attention, as well as more smiles, more lovers and more job opportunities. As a result, many people who struggle with weight issues begin to despise themselves. Instead of acknowledging their beauty, they focus on how shallow society views them, and incorporate that hateful picture into their self image.
We all have things about our appearance we wish we could change, but if you're overweight, this feeling of dissatisfaction can become extreme. You end up being angry at yourself and loathing your body. Inside your head, a little voice whispers to you: 'You're not good enough', when in reality, you are a beautiful person with a good heart, a wonderful personality and unique talents. There is nothing wrong with you! People come in all shapes and sizes, and beauty always transcends outward appearance.
It is horrifying that in today's society, being mean to fat people seems to be the norm. 'Fat jokes' have become commonplace, and they imply that it's acceptable to berate those who are heavy. Almost everywhere you look, you see skinny as the ideal, and bad luck to those who don't fit that image of perfection.
Overweight people take notice of the subtle and often not so subtle jabs against them. When you're constantly told that you're not good enough and that you're wrong, you actually start to believe this. Maybe you've had to cope with extra weight for a long time. You're aware of society's negative opinion about your body shape. You often make fat jokes about yourself, just to keep others from hurting you with the same sarcastic words. Basically, you attack yourself before anyone else can do it, as a way to protect yourself.
Sadly, you may not even be aware of what you're doing to yourself. Every time you make a disparaging comment about yourself, you die a little bit inside. You're scarring your soul, as you're proclaiming that you're ugly and wrong. That is simply not true!
Others can be cruel, but you can be your most nasty critic. The merry-go-round of self-hate that goes through your head can be overwhelming. If you don't believe it, start a diary and log each time you have a negative thought about yourself. You will be shocked at how much you put yourself down. And when others treat you with disrespect, you join in with these bullies: you're worse to yourself in your thoughts.
When you sit down to eat a plate of your favourite food, instead of enjoying it, you berate yourself and call yourself a 'pig' for eating such a treat. You feel guilty and embarrassed, but flogging yourself does nothing for your self-esteem. It only reinforces your negative self-image, and stops you from loving yourself.
Even though you're overweight or obese, you're okay the way you are. You deserve happiness just like everyone else does. Weight is a tricky subject for you, but that doesn't mean you're not allowed to make the most out of your life and enjoy every minute of it. Your life is too short to worry about fitting into a pair of jeans or being a certain size. The truth is that if you don't learn to love yourself, even if you lost weight, you still wouldn't be happy.
It's time to come to terms with who you are and embrace your whole being, body and soul. Never put yourself down again, and reassure yourself that you're fine and that everything will be okay, no matter what. And you are beautiful, no matter what anyone says.
Many people know what it's like to struggle with weight, and they won't judge you. Those who show hate and contempt shouldn't be on your radar. These people are insecure, as they need to put others down in order to build themselves up. The best strategy is to ignore them!
From now on, you have full permission to like yourself. Give yourself the love you deserve. Life is hard, but you deserve to smile and feel good about yourself. No one knows your situation better than you do, and others have no right to judge or belittle you. Enjoy all the delicious foods you eat without guilt - and above all, love yourself.
When this life comes to an end and you cross over, God will not ask you why you didn't lose weight. But He will ask why you didn't love yourself.
With love,
Bella
Painting: 'Lightness of Being' by Volegov
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