How to Have a Perfect Relationship

Some of you might object that the "perfect relationship" doesn't exist because people are not perfect. So why are we trying to find the perfect partner? And once we've found him or her, we believe that we will have our heaven on earth and live happily ever after. Yes, things go well for a while, we're in cloud nine, seeing everything through rosy glasses. But then things begin to go wrong and the relationship is not what it used to be any more. We feel that we've been cheated, that this person is not what he or she is cracked up to be. We see a lot of defects in this person, even though we used to put him on her on a pedestal. The characteristics we used to like in him or her now seem annoying. We start criticizing, demanding he or she does this or that...Or we are the person who is constantly being put down and belittled. No matter what we do, it never seems to be enough. We're damned if we do, and we're damned if we don't. We've had enough. We want to get out.

There is a perfect relationship, and that's the one you have with your dog. Your dog always loves you no matter what. You dog never criticizes you. He never tells you what to do. He knows that you will feed him and take him for a walk, but he waits patiently until you're ready and you get the bowl or the leash out. Then he gets all excited, jumping around, and his enthusiasm is contagious. He appreciates every precious minute of the attention you give him. He never tells you that he doesn't like the way you dress or the fact that you didn't take the garbage out or that you never take him out for dinner. He accepts you exactly as you are, and the only thing he does is show his unwavering love to you. There is a lesson to learn from this relationship model with your dog: accept the other person 100 %, without trying to change him or her. 

After all, you can't change someone else, you can only change yourself. As soon as you attempt to change someone, you set the downwards spiral into motion. Allowing someone to be who they are is probably the greatest gift anyone can give. And this also implies accepting yourself as you are. If you're not happy with yourself, you won't be happy with your partner. You will continuously find fault with him or her. Instead of focusing on this person's defects, why not call into your mind his or her good sides. Why not show appreciation and say something nice instead of complaining about his or her attitude? Just for today, pretend to be a dog and love your partner unconditionally... And see what happens!

With all my love,

Bella

Photo by Bella Tindale