This morning, you got up at 06.00 am, went to the gym and did a good workout, then came home to a nutritious breakfast. You managed to get your kids ready for school without too much trouble, while packing a healthy lunch for yourself. At work, you avoided the usual temptations of muffins and birthday cakes, had an apple instead, and steered clear of the vending machine. You felt in control until you picked up the kids from school and they started fighting in the car. Your blood pressure went up and your temper flared. A message on your phone: your husband let you know he would be back late from work.
Suddenly feel exhausted, but you still need to take your son to soccer training and your daughter to ballet. You come back around 6 pm to a messy house, and don't feel like cooking any more. It will be McDonald's for the children and a can of vegetable soup for you. Ravenous, you gobble down your meagre meal, and after helping your children with their homework, you finally manage to get them off to bed. Weary and discouraged, you go to the freezer. There is a bucket of ice cream. Boysenberry, your favourite! Before you realise what you're doing, you help yourself to a big bowl of it, and top it with whipped cream. You eat it and it tastes and feels good, but then guilt sets in and you feel like a failure.
It only takes a few seconds for a diet to go from awesome to awful, and no matter how strong your resolve is, you can't expect to follow your diet perfectly all the time. In my book 'The Magic of Sensible Dieting' I devote a whole chapter to diet perfectionism, as it is actually counter-productive. As human beings we make mistakes, and you will never be able to change this. You might do everything by the book for a while, until you get tempted and fall off the wagon. What is important is how you cope with these lapses and how fast you get back on track.
Know yourself, and find out what your triggers are: stress, boredom, frustration, loneliness, tiredness or feeling overwhelmed? Stress is a big problem, and dealing with it takes a lot of planning as well as making time to calm your mind and body in a natural way. Drinking alcohol or taking prescription drugs is not recommended! Meditation helps a lot, and it's not the obscure science that a lot of people believe it is. It simply means focusing on your breath, and as soon as your mind wanders (and it will), return to your breath. You can do this anywhere you are.
Maybe you 'stuff down' your emotions to avoid feeling them. The fear alone of these painful emotions can trigger you to eat. When your feelings get the better of you, write them down in a diary or discuss them with someone like a trusted friend or a counsellor. See what happens if you allow yourself to feel these emotions without suppressing them. It might not be as bad as you think it is. You could also go for a walk, drink some water or listen to some calming music.
The important thing is not to beat up on yourself. Talk nicely to yourself, like you would to a friend in the same situation. Instead of yelling at yourself what a failure you are, say to yourself: "Okay, you had a bowl of ice cream with whipped cream. So what? You got stressed. It's not the end of the world. Don't ditch your diet just because of one mistake. Tomorrow is another day, and you will be able to make healthy choices again." Get back on track right away, that's the secret.
Before you succumb to temptation, you might want to try the strategy of waiting it out. You should only eat if you're really hungry. Ask yourself, "Is this my head or my stomach demanding food?" If you wait ten to twenty minutes and get engrossed in some activity, you will find that your desire for food will disappear, unless you were really hungry to begin with. If you feel like a treat but get too busy to indulge in it, chances are you will forget about it.
Acknowledge your success so far. Even if you haven't lost much weight yet, you've made an effort to look at your eating habits, to be more healthy conscious and eat more mindfully. This is great progress, and you should congratulate yourself. Even if you just improve your diet a little bit every day, you will be able to achieve a lot. Every time you make good choices, you're moving forward towards your ultimate goal.
With love,
Bella
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