Encourage Your Children to Stay Connected to Source Energy

“If you encourage your children to stay connected to Source Energy, they will remain clear-minded; they will remain optimistic; they will remain enthusiastic. They will remain balanced; they will remain flexible. They will remain in a state of grace. They will remain in a state of Well-Being. And they will make wonderful choices." - Abraham (Esther and Jerry Hicks)

Of course, this principle doesn't only apply to children; it applies to everyone. If you stay in tune with your Source Energy, Inner Being, Inner Wisdom, God, Higher Power, Higher Consciousness, or whatever you may want to call it, your life is likely to take a different turn. You will begin to trust; you will begin to relax in the knowledge that all is well, and everything will be all right. Stress will evaporate from your daily life and will be replaced with a beautiful and constant serenity. 

So often you get caught up in the soap operas of your life, that you forget to reflect on your higher purpose down here. You are a spiritual being having a human experience, not the other way round. Ask yourself when you are so absorbed in a problem or dilemma that you forget to live:  "Will this matter ten years from now?" Young people think about life and love, working, studying and having fun. As you get older, you tend to enjoy yourself less, as you worry about stupid things, like not having enough money:"How am I going to pay the bills?" 

When you allow children to be themselves, you give them the most precious gift. You don't thwart their growth, but encourage them to be who they want to be (which might not always correspond with what you want them to be!). They know what's best for them; you don't need to tell them. As they grow up following their own heart and their own intuition, they will become well-adjusted adults, who feel loved and secure in the world. What else do they need? Very little. If they feel that way, the world will be open to them, and they will have a joyful experience in it.

This is our most important job: to realise that they are gifts from Heaven. To make them feel that they are wanted and loved; exactly as they are. As human beings, we all deserve love. Not because of our extraordinary deeds, but just because we are alive. Just because we exist. Love doesn't need to be earned. It is as vital and freely available as the oxygen we breathe.

"Grown-ups never understand anything by themselves, and it is tiresome for children to be always and forever explaining things to them." - Antoine de Saint-Exupery

Painting: "Children at Play" by Chris Neil Smith

How to Stop Yourself from Eating Something That is Bad for You

Using the following six strategies, you can stop yourself from eating something that's bad or unhealthy for you:

1) Understand that all foods are okay, as long as they're eaten in moderation. A food high in sugar of fat is acceptable if it is considered an occasional treat. Some people find it hard to stop at one piece of cake though. They might end up eating the whole cake and more. These individuals need to stay away from problem foods altogether, at least in the beginning, while they're getting used to eating healthy. Like the alcoholic who can't pick up the first drink if he or she wants to remain sober, you may need to adopt an attitude of sobriety with your eating habits. Don’t pick up the first piece of cake if it leads you to binge and feel guilty afterwards.

2) Keep a journal of a food diary. At the beginning of the day, you can write down your goals, and what you intend to eat. You can be as specific as you need to regarding your food intake, and devise a plan for yourself to avoid mindless eating. A food diary keeps you on track because it makes you accountable for what you’re consuming on a daily basis. Be as detailed as possible: write down the time, what you were doing and thinking, how hungry you were, and what you had. Consistency is the key with a diary, so if possible don’t skip any entries. If you had a piece of cake, write it down and don’t feel bad about it. Guilt is totally useless, and it only leads to punishment and bingeing on  high calorie foods.

3) If you feel tempted to eat something that’s not part of your weight loss or health plan, you can use a delay tactic. You can say to yourself, “I can have this piece of cake now - if I choose too. Or I can decide to have it later, or tomorrow or whenever I choose to have it.” This is a very empowering thing to do, because it gives you back your freedom to choose. You are in control of what you’re doing, and if you decide to have this piece of cake, it’s your choice. But you can decide not to have it now, and postpone the decision.

4) If you really want to avoid eating that piece of cake, think in the future tense. Think about the consequences of your actions. If you give in to this craving, it might set you back with your eating plan. Wouldn’t it be better to have something nutritious and wholesome. If you crave sugar, have some fruit. Berries in particular work like magic as they are like lollies! Drink a lot of water. Cravings may be a sign of dehydration in disguise, and extra fluids can often fix the problem. But stick to water, or herbal teas without added sugar or milk.

5) Be in touch with your hunger feelings. Do you want to have this piece of cake because you’re hungry? Then you might need to reconsider your eating plan. Maybe you’re cutting your calories too low, and that’s why you’re experiencing this craving. Rate your hunger from zero to ten. If you’re close to ten, you may need to reconsider your overall food intake. Add some more complex carbohydrates like brown rice, wholemeal pasta, vegetables, beans and lentils to your meals. Eat enough to feel satisfied, without feeling bloated. If you eat enough protein, carbs and fat with every meal, you should not feel hungry in between meal. Make sure you include healthy snacks in your eating plan. A simple banana for instance can give you a lot of energy and eliminate cravings. Five or six small meals are better than three big ones.

6) Be in touch with your emotions, the way you feel. Do you want to eat because you feel stressed, frustrated, tired, angry or simply bored? In that case, do something nice for yourself. If you’re stressed, sit down and take a few deep breaths while relaxing your body. Have a glass of water. If you’re tired, switch off the noise and close your eyes for a few minutes. If you’re angry, ask yourself: “How important is this really?” Ask yourself how serious all the unpleasant things you’re experiencing now will be in  a few years’ time. And ask yourself how you will feel then, if you eat healthy now and look after yourself properly. If you’re bored, find something creative to do. Focus on something. Learn a new skill, like painting, drawing or playing a musical instruments. Do some puzzles, crosswords or sudoku. Watch a movie or TV show you enjoy. Go for a walk, play with your children or your pets.

If you decide to eat a piece of cake after all (or if you’ve already eaten it), then stick with your decision and don’t feel bad about it. Enjoy every single bite of it, without feeling guilty. Treats are okay, if eaten in moderation and not too often. There is nothing that you can't have, just be sensible about it! 

In my book “The Magic of Sensible Dieting”, I explain that it's important to include everything in your diet: carbs, protein, and fat. If you exclude an entire food group like carbohydrates, your diet is doomed to fail, as it will not be sustainable. Therefore, to classify foods as “good” or “bad” is not a good idea.  A food is not good or bad in itself: the occasional piece of cake is not inherently bad for you. It is only if you eat too much of it that it can become harmful. 

Painting: "Chocolate Cake" by Dominic Piperata

How to Stay on Track with Weight Loss

To change your eating habits is difficult, because you can’t simply abstain from it. Research has shown that it is harder to change your eating habits than to quit smoking or drinking. You can’t just quit eating or you’ll die!  Going cold turkey is not an option. You need to eat every day, so your body, your inner organs, your muscles and your brain receive enough fuel and keep functioning.

As humans, we have evolved to like foods that can be bad for us, especially if consumed in excess. We are hard-wired to love sugar and fat. Sugar has a direct impact on the reward centre in the brain, and it is a very addictive substance. If you eat too much sugar, it will create havoc in your body. Sugar triggers an immediate release of blood sugar lowering hormone Insulin. One or two hours later, you feel very hungry as your blood sugar drops sharply, and in spite of your resolutions, you reach for something high in sugar and fat, like cookies or chips. 

The first step towards change is to forgive yourself for everything you’ve done so far and start afresh. It’s never too late to change. Acknowledge that change doesn’t happen overnight. Any diet that promises quick results won’t work. Or it might work in the beginning, until you reach a “plateau”: your weight stops moving, even though you stick to your diet plan. When you cut your calories too low, your metabolism slows down, and you stop losing weight. You might even put some weight back on. You get discouraged and drop your new resolutions, using the excuse: “It doesn’t work anyway” or “ I don’t have enough willpower”.

How much willpower you have depends on how motivated you are. You need to look at the big picture, the end result, and be patient. There is no rush. You’ve been overweight for a while, so do you really need to lose weight quickly? While quick results are certainly encouraging, losing weight too rapidly will backfire. It doesn’t give your body and your brain enough time to adjust. Your body goes into starvation mode, which means it burns less and less energy in response to your reduced food intake. When your brain doesn't have enough time to adjust to new eating habits, you will fall off the wagon at the first opportunity, and you'll be back to square one.

To stay on track, don’t tackle all your issues at one. It takes 21 days to form new habits. Once a new habit is formed, it will stay with you, as it will become an integral part of you. You won’t have to use so much willpower to eat healthy, as it will become natural to you, just like brushing your teeth. 

Change requires consistency. It’s a process of continuous effort that needs time. Rome wasn’t made in a day, and you won’t be able to change your body shape overnight. You won’t be able to change it  in a few weeks, as it may take months. But you want to do something that lasts forever. You don’t want to lose weight only to regain it once your diet is over. This is what you need to keep in mind, so you can keep going.

Implement changes step by step. To stay on track, focus on one goal at a time. Think about the worst thing you’re doing with your diet at the moment. Do you eat huge portions? Do you eat too much junk food? Are you addicted to sugar? Do you use food to cope with stress at work or at home?

Next thing,  decide on your goal. For instance, reduce your portions. Or decide to stop eating take aways and commit to preparing healthy meals at home, using wholesome ingredients. Or reduce your sugar intake as much as you can. Or  decide to drink more water. Drinking water is a wonderful tool for weight loss. Water has no calories, but it fills you up and detoxifies your body. Pick one goal and stick with it for at least 21 days. Then ad the next goal to it. This way, you give your body time to adjust and your brain is able to form new habits that are lasting. 

If you fall off the wagon and give in to a craving, don’t feel bad about it. Don’t fall into the guilt trap. Guilt is a useless emotion. Analyse where you went wrong and start again. Don’t blame yourself or beat up on yourself. Everyone makes mistakes, and if you accept that you'll make mistakes you're more likely to succeed. Mistakes are blessings in disguise, as they are learning opportunities. They are your stepping stones. Trial and error is part of our human experience: this is how we get better at what we're doing. 

If you start doing something new you won’t be perfect at it right away. You’ll probably never be perfect at it! That’s not your goal. Your goal is to look after yourself better and achieve a body shape that’s healthier for you. Trust yourself that you can do it, even if you’ve failed in the past. 

My new book “The Magic of Sensible Dieting” is packed with tips and information that will lead you to success. The principles I explain are very simple. It’s an easy to follow method. Just reading the book will change the way you look at dieting. This is not a fad. It’s a way of life - something you do every day, for the rest of your life. You will lose weight, and you will be able to maintain your healthy weight once and for all.

With love,

Bella

What does "Eating Clean" mean?

Eating clean is the most sensible way to eat. More than a diet, it is a way of life. Follow seven simple principles, and you will live a long, healthy and productive life. If you're overweight or obese, you will lose weight. You will maintain your ideal body shape and stop being a yo-yo dieter once and for all.

1. Whole, natural foods, preferably fruit and vegetables should constitute the bulk of your diet, while you seek to eliminate or keep processed foods to a minimum.

Make it a priority for yourself and your family to eat plenty of fresh fruit and vegetables. They are full of vitamins, minerals, antioxidants, fibre and other healthy compounds. Buy organic if you can afford it. If your budget doesn’t allow it, don’t feel bad and above all, don't use it as an excuse. It’s better to eat non-organic fruit and vegetables than none at all! They will have a positive impact on your health no matter what. If you can grow your own veggies at home, go for it. Nothing tastes better than your own lettuce, tomatoes and herbs. If you don’t have a big back yard, there are ways to grow almost anything hydroponically. 

Processed foods are anything in a box, bag, can, or package, and although there are always a few exceptions to the rule (like a bag of fresh green beans), the majority of your foods should be fresh. “If it doesn’t grow, don’t eat it” is a good rule to go by. If you decide to have treats like cookies, cakes or ice-cream, make them yourself using wholesome ingredients. There are plenty of ideas and recipes on the internet.

2. Choose unrefined, whole grain foods instead of refined foods items.

Stick to whole grains whenever possible. Go for whole meal breads and pasta, brown rice and other whole grains like millet, amaranth and quinoa. The combination of carbohydrates and fibre in whole grains stabilises your blood sugar levels and gives you sustained energy. Include legumes in your diet, as they are full of important nutrients and fibre. Stay away from all forms of sugar, including honey, maple syrup, concentrated apple juice or cane juice. They aren't better than ordinary sugar. The only healthy sugar alternative is stevia, and it’s the only one to be recommended if you crave the sweet taste. All other artificial sweeteners have dangerous potential side effects, and aren't worth putting your health at risk.

3. Have some protein, carbohydrates and fat with every meal.

A healthy diet is a balanced diet. Any weight loss programme that cuts out a food group like carbohydrates or fat is likely to be deficient in nutrients. It usually doesn’t work in the long run, as it is unsustainable and too difficult to adhere to. Protein, carbs and fat are all necessary for the normal functioning of your body. You don’t necessarily need to obtain protein from animal sources, as vegetable protein is just as good, and in no way inferior to animal protein. Lentils, soy products and nuts for instance are packed with protein. Make sure to include protein with every meal, especially breakfast: it will keep you feeling full longer, and prevent a mid-morning energy crash, typical if you’ve had a donut or sugary cereal for breakfast. Oats, fruit, nuts and seeds are ideal for breakfast. A porridge with berries and chia seeds will help you start the day and give you sustained energy that lasts all morning. Have a mid-morning healthy snack (e.g. and apple or a banana, or a tub of plain yoghourt). 

4. Avoid trans-fats, salt and sugar. 

Contrary to popular belief, fat is actually good for you, and it is not advisable to cut it down too low. We need fat to be healthy and to feel full. Low-fat diets have been blamed for the obesity epidemic, as people don’t feel satiated after a meal that is low in fat. Avoid cooking in fat or frying though, as the chemical composition of fat is altered and can be damaging to your body cells. The healthiest way is to cook without fat: steam or broil your food, then ad butter or drizzle virgin olive oil over your dishes, as a finishing touch. If you need to fry anything like a steak or piece of chicken, the only fat considered safe to use is unprocessed, virgin coconut oil, as it is very stable. Avoid processed foods as they are full of trans-fats, which according to science are harmful and contribute to high cholesterol, heart attacks, strokes and cancer. Anything in a package is suspicious, and so are take aways, as you don’t really know what’s in them. 

5. Eat six small meals instead of three big ones.

The tradition to eat three big meals tends to stick with us, but it’s not the best way to eat. Eating six small meals makes more sense as it stimulates your metabolism and keeps hunger at bay, while giving you a constant supply of energy. Big meals are followed by a surge of insulin, which can be followed by a drop, especially mid-afternoon or towards the evening. By the time you come home after a day’s work, you feel ravenous and are likely to eat much more than you intended. A big dinner, especially when followed by processed TV snacks, is the best way to put on weight or to sabotage your weight loss efforts. Don’t save all your calories for the end of the day, as it will backfire, and you'll end up putting on more weight instead of losing it.

6. Stay away from sugary drinks. 

Avoid all sugary drinks (coffee or tea with sugar, fruit juices, sodas, cordials, soft drinks). These beverages are calorie bombs in disguise, and the high sugar content will make you crave more sweets later down the track, due to a sharp surge in insulin, followed by a rapid drop. You feel worn out and irritable, craving more sugar and junk food. Always stick to plain water, it is a wonderful way to keep hydrated, while detoxing and keeping your kidneys and liver healthy. 

Don’t fall into the artificial sweetener trap. “Diet” drinks are possibly just as bad as the real thing, with all the added salt and chemicals. They don’t quench your thirst and research has shown that even though they don’t contain refined sugar, they make the body produce more insulin, which causes hunger feelings and cravings. No one has ever lost weight by drinking diet Coke or Pepsi.

7. Get physically active.

Exercise is good for your body and soul. It keeps your muscles and joints healthy. Our bodies were designed to move, and if we neglect this basic need, we end up sick and depressed. Moderate exercise stimulates your metabolism, encouraging your body to burn more fat, even at rest. It cleanses your liver, kidneys and activates your digestive system. It keeps your heart and lungs in good condition, and strengthens your bones, while boosting your immune system. You’re in a better mood, more optimistic and have more energy. You think more clearly and your memory improves, because your brain receives more oxygen. You sleep better and tend to be more motivated to stick to a healthy diet. Don’t neglect this important part of your daily routine: treat it like a doctor’s prescription!

with love and lots of encouragement,

Bella

The Importance of Grieving: Parting is a Part of Life

"Everyone who lives long enough to love deeply will experience great losses. Don't let fear of loss or the losses themselves take away your ability to enjoy the wonderful life that is yours." - Barbara Cooper

The path of life is sometimes smooth, and sometimes rocky. You always seem to leave something behind. You always seem to travel with a suitcase in your hands. Parting is an integral part of the journey. It is often painful, but it can also be joyful at times. 

When you leave something behind, it is not just the end. It is also a new beginning. Grieving helps you come to terms with unbearable losses and difficult situations. Eventually, acceptance sets in, even though nothing is ever forgotten. Your loved ones will always stay with you. There will always be a place for them in your heart. 

Eventually, you move on, and the lighter you travel, the easier the transition will be. After a separation or a divorce for instance, there is a lot of hurt. Unresolved emotions can become permanent wounds. If you don’t allow these to heal, you will go into a new relationship, loaded with baggage that might sabotage your new-found happiness.

Pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional. You can dwell on the past, or you can look at it as an opportunity for growth, and decide to close this chapter of your life, while eagerly looking forward to the next one.

You don’t only leave loved ones or relationships behind. You can leave anything, even a state of mind. From this day onward, you can decide to change. you can decide to be more acceptant, more grateful for what you’ve got, while going with the flow, instead of fighting against what is. You can become less set in your ways, less demanding, more flexible and more relaxed. You can decide to leave fear behind once and for all, trust the future and embrace love and forgiveness. What happened yesterday doesn’t matter any more. Today you want to be here, and enjoy this very moment to the fullest.

Parting can be as simple as moving houses or going away on a holiday, or as complex as our final departure: death. You will go through your share of parting in life. How you deal with it will transcend this experience in your mind and in your heart. Ultimately, your attitude reflects what kind of parting it will be, and you can react to it with sadness or serenity.

With much love,

Bella

Painting: "Woman with Suitcase. Departure" by Katie Phillips

How to Prepare Yourself for a Healthy Old Age

Maybe you think that after 50, everything will be downhill. Maybe you think old age means being hunched over, sick and incapacitated. Maybe you think disease will be a necessary part of it, all the fun will be over and you will end your days enduring the endless monotony of a nursing home routine. 

These are only beliefs - but they will affect how you will age and feel at 60, 70, 80 or 90. You can change the way your body ages by changing the way you imagine yourself later on in life. You can take proactive steps towards a healthy and fulfilled old age now. What you do every day, your thoughts and your habits, have a tremendous impact on your future body and mind. 

The earlier you begin to prepare yourself, the better it is. But even if you haven’t done anything so far, it’s never too late. Start today - start now. Eat a balanced diet. Skip the junk food and enjoy a salad or fruit smoothie instead. Move your body - go for a walk, a swim, or do some sit ups and push ups. 

Think about Australian Cyril Baldock, who swam across the English Channel at 70 years and 9 months of age, in August 2014, making him the oldest person on record to achieve the feat. “ I haven’t had that much fun in years” he said when he arrived on the French shore, after 12 hours and 45 minutes. He believed he could do it - and he did. Regular exercise, a healthy diet and keeping your mind active with things that interest you and ignite your passion - this is the recipe to continue enjoying yourself as you get older.

With much love,

Bella