"I have three precious things which I hold fast and prize. the first is gentleness; the second is frugality; the third is humility, which keeps me from putting myself before others. Be gentle and you can be bold; be frugal and you can be liberal; avoid putting yourself before others and you can become a leader amongst people." - Lao Tzu
"Frugality is one of the most beautiful and joyful words in the English language, and yet one that we are culturally cut off from understanding and enjoying. The consumption society has made us feel that happiness lies in having things and has failed to teach us the happiness of not having things." - Elise Boulding
To be contented means to be happy with what you've got, without craving for more all the time. You can choose to give up the rat race and all the stress it involves. Instead, you can opt for a simple, frugal lifestyle.
To live frugally doesn't mean to live in poverty. It just means that you don't spend money that you haven't got and eventually, you'll be debt free. When you're debt-free, you don't owe anything to anyone, but when you're indebted to someone, you're basically in bondage to that person or institution. The sooner you break your shackles, the better for you: you'll regain your freedom and individuality. It will be a big weight off your shoulders!
Why do you get into debt in the first place? Maybe you want instant gratification, rather than waiting, while patiently saving up for something. Maybe you're a "shopaholic". Maybe you want to "keep up with the Jones", always comparing yourself with your neighbours, instead of concentrating on finding your own style. Society is very competitive, and advertisement wants you to believe that you can't be cool or fashionable unless you own this or that. But trends change all the time. People get paid to come up with new ideas and new strategies to make you part with your money. This is why you have come to believe that you can't just be who you are. You believe that you have to buy and identity, so you can fit in, conform and ultimately to be admired, respected and envied.
It boils down to what other people think of you. But no matter what you do, no matter how much effort you put into looking stylish and affluent, you will never be able to control other people's opinion's about you. Celebrities know this only too well; the media likes to put them down, no matter how hard they try to please. A typical example is Michael Jackson. In his desperate effort to be perfect in the eyes of others, he achieved exactly the opposite: they mocked him instead of loving him. That really depressed him and possibly contributed to his premature death.
A lot of wealthy people started off by living frugally and not giving much importance to luxuries. They were driven by a passion that went much deeper than the accumulation of material possessions. These people are creative and full of inspiration. For instance, Wayne Dyer once said that he enjoys writing his books so much that he wouldn't care if no one ever read them. the act of writing itself gives him enough satisfaction and fulfilment. The money then is just a bonus. Despite his worldwide success as a motivational speaker, Dr. Wayne Dyer promotes a simple lifestyle and gives a great chunk of his time and money to charity.
With another world recession looming, frugality is back in fashion, and there are many websites that give you advice on how to budget and avoid spending unnecessarily. Every time you're about to buy something, ask yourself in all honesty: "Do I really need this right now?"
"Retail therapy" may be useful when you're feeling down, but so can be a leisurely stroll in the park, coffee with a friend, an afternoon looking after children, or simply doing someone a favour. Whatever you give, it will come back to you... Never suppress a generous impulse. Give from your heart, without expecting anything in return. Do it just for the pleasure of helping others, and it will make you feel terrific!
"Whereas a covetous heart is never satisfied,
a contented heart is always secure". - Author unknown
With all my love!
Bella
Photo by Bella Tindale
"Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart." - Khalil Gibran
"People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within." - Elisabeth Kuebler-Ross
"God loves you just as you are. As people who have been created by God, we are infinitely precious to Him because we are His creation. Regardless of our outward appearance, we are all made with that spiritual potential to relate directly to Him, spirit to Spirit." - Corallie Buchanan
Physical beauty has become compulsory in our society and extreme measures to attain this ideal are not the exception any more. Plastic surgery is on the rise, and so readily available that you're not frowned upon if you go under the knife - rather the opposite, it's almost expected of you to enhance your appearance that way.
Not just women but also men submit to the pressure to look their best. And not just the old and disfigured - young, good-looking people think there is something wrong with them. They believe they need surgery to correct it or make it look better. These days, anything can be improved, even if it already looks perfect! 18 year old girls have breast augmentations just because "bigger is better"... Long-term consequences of surgery (which is a drastic measure) are overlooked or ignored as the lure of an attractive body and the attention that comes with it are all that matters.
Are you only on this planet to give pleasure to the eyes and other senses? Are you only here to impress? What about your true inner gifts? These diminish as you feel compelled to put so much time and effort into enhancing your outer beauty. By distorting your natural self to please others, you're not doing yourself a favor. You acknowledge that what you are is not good enough!
You may argue that cosmetic surgery will make you more confident. This is an illusion, because you can't buy happiness. It's a self-esteem issue, and what you need above anything else is start loving yourself. This is the answer to all your problems. Once you decide to love yourself as you are, things will begin to fall into place - and you will be content, despite your imperfections. People will only notice your smile and your sparkly eyes.
While the media and others try to define beauty in a certain way, think about how you define your own personal beauty - what it really means to you. Many people - both men and women - place all their emphasis on managing their physical appearance and the impression they make on others.
But even though society may reward you for wrong or superficial reasons, what really matters is who you are inside and who you are becoming.
With all my love and best wishes!
Bella
Photo by Bella Tindale
"I am determined to be cheerful and happy in whatever situation I may find myself. For I have learned that the greater part of our misery or unhappiness is determined not by our circumstances but by our disposition." - Martha Washington
"The greatest happiness is to know the source of unhappiness." - Fyodor Dostoesvsky
The main source of your unhappiness is that you don't know what you want. In my book "The Magic of Willpower," I point out that the first thing you need to do if you wish to change anything about your life is to find out what you really desire within yourself, not just at a materialistic level.
Maybe you believe that you're dissatisfied with what you have, with the way you live, and the way other people act towards you. Now go a bit deeper. As you're digging and uncovering layer after layer of distorted thinking, you might discover what you truly feel would bring you contentment...
If this self-examination reveals that you're upset because you feel you deserve a better car, a bigger house, a holiday or simply more money in the bank, then you need to dig much deeper. You need to find out what really causes you to be unhappy. Is it because you're envious of others? Is it because you can't enjoy what you have? Do you look for excuses so you can blame others, or even yourself and your circumstances for the way you feel?
The choice is yours. You can find peace of mind by eliminating your unhappiness right now. Acknowledge to yourself the real reasons why you react the way you do. Is it difficult for you to feel and express appreciation? From now on, develop a sense of gratitude, no matter what situation you're in, and no matter what others say or do... Do you expect others to behave according to your expectations? Then just live and let live... It takes courage, but you can do it!
With love,
Bella
Photo by Nina Tindale
"Imagination is more important than knowledge. For knowledge is limited to all we now know and understand, while imagination embraces teh entire world, and all there ever will be to know and understand." - Albert Einstein
In my book "The Magic of Willpower", I talk a lot about the power of imagination and what it can do for you. When you're imagining something, while simultaneously feeling the emotion that goes with it, you're setting something in motion. You begin to move towards an outcome that you've designed for yourself and that is in harmony with your true self.
You often limit yourself to describing the way things are right now (you call it reality). You talk about what is, instead of attempting to look further. But observing and reporting facts, even if they're real, bringing them up in conversation and thinking about them won't change them. However, by using your imagination to improve your outlook, you will do wonders for your life - you will turn it around eventually, without any doubt. That's because imagination is one of the greatest forces in the Universe. Focusing on your desires, on what you really want, is more productive than pushing your dreams away, out of fear that they might never come true.
Telling a new, embellished story straight from your imagination will do more for you then telling the "sad" story you sometimes believe that you've been living so far. Some condemn dreaming as being "unrealistic". But haven't you been realistic so far? And what has it done for you? Talking about the kind of reality that is can be depressing. It doesn't leave much room for hope and betterment...
Reality is subjective and the result of how your mind perceives your environment, as well as past and future events. You are the one who creates this reality to a large extent, just by the way you're experiencing it in your mind, in your imagination. You often feel stuck as if there is no way out. This is when creative visualisation can help. It's an effective healing tool and will assist you find solutions and overcome obstacles. Sometimes the solutions will present itself, without you having to do anything about it. Hanging on to positive images is often enough to produce this effect.
It helps to remember that all the marvellous implements you use, including computers and the internet, are the result of someone believing it was possible. Airplanes were born out of someone's conviction that it was possible to fly. Telephones were born because someone thought it was feasible to talk to someone even if you were miles away from each other...
Your most precious asset is your mind. You can create new worlds and improve old ones with your imagination. You can achieve almost any goal by using your imagination. Your thinking ability is unlimited. Thoughts don't take up any space, and you can have as many as you like without having to fear that your brain might burst!
Today, take piece of paper and write down what you would like your life to be like. Do it in the present tense. Be confident. Don't worry about how you're going to do it or when it's going to happen. Live your dreams and dream your life with an imagination that has neither rules nor boundaries...
Enjoy the process!
Bella
Photo by Bella Tindale
