Master the Art of Doing Nothing

Photo by Bella Tindale

Sometimes you are so busy you forget to take time for yourself. You run from one task to another, never slowing down. You feel you can achieve a lot while keeping active, until one day, everything breaks down and you become ill. Then you are forced to lie in bed and do nothing. You can finally "take stock" and make contact with your Inner Self. This Inner Self has been trying to talk to you for a long time, and it never gives up. It has been trying to tell you to examine your priorities, what is really important, what you live for. Because it's only when you're not busy that you can truly reflect on the meaning of life. The meaning of your life...

In my book "The Magic of Willpower", I emphasise that in between periods of productivity, it vital to plan periods of leisure, relaxation or meditation, in order to recharge your batteries. I will go one further now and say that it is vital to plan times when you do absolutely nothing. This is not as easy as it sounds. But fortunately, doing nothing is an art that can be learnt.

Doing nothing doesn't mean sleeping or watching TV or checking your Facebook account, or walking or talking. If you have a stressful life, and most of you do, you will find it very difficult not to do anything at all. But remind yourself that if being active is essential, being inactive during certain times is equally important. This seems paradoxical, especially in a society where people constantly strive for success and self-improvement. How is your life going to get better if you do nothing? Don't you have to put every minute of the day to good use? Isn't time supposed to be money? On top of that you dread boredom, and you tend to feel guilty when you're not productive.

The problem is that when you're always busy, you don't have time to focus on yourself. A lot of people fear inaction, as well as silence, to the point that they cannot spend quiet time, without a constant blaring background of radio, music or television. Of course if you enjoy music, don't deprive yourself of it. But there is a time for everything. There is a time to listen to music of your choice, and there is a time to listen to silence. Now you're connecting with your Inner Self as you're focusing on your breathing and emptying your mind. It may only last for a few seconds, a few minutes, an hour or even longer. You allow your thoughts to drift without getting attached to any of them. Afterwards you will feel rejuvenated and your creative juices will flow more freely. You will experience a sense of deep calm and renewed strength within you.

With much love,

Bella

How Can I Be Happy ?

" The purpose of our lives is to be happy."
- Dalai Lama
"Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions."
- Dalai Lama

"Happiness depends upon ourselves."
-Aristotle


Happiness is a feeling of wellbeing and contentment. Happiness doesn't depend on status, achievements, ideal body or ideal relationship. It doesn't depend on how much money you have in the bank; some wealthy people are very unhappy. Happiness is an attitude that comes from within you - no matter what goes on on the outside.

In my book "The Magic of Willpower", I explain that happiness comes from being in harmony with who you really are and what you really want. It happens when your actions result from your inner values. For instance, if honesty is important to you, living a truthful life will make you happy. If helping others is important to you, acting with compassion and generosity will make you happy.  If being faithful to your partner is important, living in accordance with this principle will make you happy. Happiness is a choice; it doesn't depend on external circumstances. 

Once you've made a decision to be happy, don't deviate from it, even if you think you should be miserable in your present situation. Stop reacting to everything. Something unpleasant happens - and your instinct is to be upset and to lash out. Stop yourself from doing or saying anything. Stop yourself from thinking negatively about it. Refuse to give in to an outside reality that doesn't match up with your inner truth, your inner desire of living a life of bliss. You might see or hear things that deny this belief. Don't dwell on them, and quickly bring back your attention to your desire to experience wellbeing and contentment at all times. How good you feel is really up to you...

Others cannot make you unhappy unless you allow them to do so. You don't want to give them this power over you. "My parents, my partner, my brother, my sister, my child, my co-worker... is making me unhappy." It could be any external relationship, but the point is that your happiness never depends on it. It only depends on you, so demonstrate it. Be happy, no matter what they are doing. Practice feeling good all day every day. Don't give others responsibility for the way you feel, and suddenly, you will begin to love them all. The only reason you didn't love them is because you were using them as an excuse to be unhappy...

With love,

Bella

Painting: "Golden Autumn" by Isaac Levitan, 1895 (Wikipaintings)

How Can I Feel Better?

First ask yourself why you're not feeling good. This is more easily said than done, because complaints are often vague and generalised. When you don't feel good, everything is like doom and gloom, and the clouds have no silver lining. There seems to be no light at the end of the tunnel, just endless darkness... But here are seven powerful, very simple techniques to help you feel good - instantly!

1) Forgiveness
If you have been abused of treated unfairly, a good exercise is to forgive. This doesn't mean letting perpetrators off the hook. But you're doing it for yourself, for your own wellbeing and peace of mind. Let go of all the things that people did to you and that you didn't deserve. Let go of the things that people didn't do and that you did deserved (e.g. when your partner didn't give you a birthday present!)

2) Stop complaining
Spend a whole day without complaining, and without blaming or criticising anyone, not even yourself. This is also easier said than done. You may find that you'll have nothing to talk about! Why not talk about a book or a movie, instead of falling into the trap of gossiping about other people (including celebrities)

3) Be grateful
Find something to be grateful for. If you are in a lot of pain, this may sound impossible. But there is at least one part of your body that is working. Maybe you're reading this - which means you can see, or someone is reading it to you - which means you can hear. If there is nothing to be grateful for regarding your body, you can at least tell yourself that you're alive and that your heart is beating. Two things to be thankful for!

4) Devise an action plan
If you don't have a job and feel bored and without a purpose, devise an action plan for the day. If you keep yourself occupied, you'll have less time to mull over things and feel sorry for yourself... There is always a drawer that needs sorting out. Clean the fridge and throw out all the half-rotten items at the back. It will make you feel better - guaranteed! Go for a walk. Exercise your body, it will stimulate your Endorphins (a natural feel-good drug that your body produces when you exert yourself physically) Fresh air and sunshine are uplifting and they are the only items we can obtain free of charge!

5) Enjoy your job 
If you work but hate your job, make it a point to enjoy it, just for today. Be as thorough and efficient as possible. Smile a lot, pay someone a compliment ("Your hair looks really nice today"). Don't find fault with anyone. Instead, find something positive about everyone, even the people you dislike. Don't procrastinate but get things done as quickly as possible, without cutting corners.  Feel the contentment that comes from a completed task, even if it's just a routine, something you've done a million times. Be conscious of what you're doing instead of going about it like a machine, a robot. 

6) Appreciate your life
If you don't like your life, watch a documentary about people who are worse off than yourself. This will make you realise how fortunate you are and you will begin appreciating simple things like living in a safe neighbourhood, having a roof over your head, and food on the table every day. I recommend "Welcome to the Slums of India", a BBC film you can find on YouTube.

7) Have a laugh 
Laughter is another way to turn on the Endorphins in your body. At least, find something to smile about. Even if you can't find anything, you can begin by laughing at yourself, and taking yourself less seriously. If there was a funny movie about your life, a comedy, what would it be like? Don't you think that some of the awkward moments are worth a smile? You can turn your life into a tragedy of course, but that wouldn't help very much...

In my book, "The Magic of Willpower", I mention that no matter how desperate your situation, you can always improve it by looking at it from a different perspective. When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at begin to change. And right now, you're paving a new way for your future.

With all my love,

Bella

Painting: "Poor Lisa" by Orest Kiprenski, 1827 (Wikipaintings)

Eleven Principles for a Spiritual Life

In my book "The Magic of Willpower", I explain that willpower is the key to lasting happiness and contentment. This is because it will enable you to be exactly the person you want to be. If you also want to lead a purposeful and joyful life, meditate on these eleven principles and start applying them in every situation:


1) FORGIVE - Don't seek retribution or revenge. Forgiveness is the biggest step towards peace of mind.

2) FOCUS ON THE NOW - Don't look back, don't dwell on the past. Don't feel endless remorse over past actions, but decide to learn from them. Correct any mistakes and make amends to people whenever possible.

3) LOOK INTO THE FUTURE WITH HOPE - Things will get better. Events have a natural tendency to work out for the best, especially if you put all your trust in your Higher Power.

4) TAKE RESPONSIBILITY - For your life and your actions. Stop blaming others. Always look for the good in yourself and others. Stop criticising and judging yourself and others. Give people positive commands: tell them clearly what you expect of them, in a nice way of course.

5) BE OPTIMISTIC - Repeat to yourself, "All is well and will continue to be well. Good things are coming my way... In God's time, not in mine!" Know that you deserve good in your life.

6) YOUR ENEMIES ARE YOUR BEST TEACHERS - Human beings are all the same. Even though you like certain people better than others, make it a point to love your enemies even more than anyone else. Be grateful for them, because they make you aware of what you need to change within yourself - and they do it free of charge! They make you aware of your weaknesses, such as lack of tolerance, patience or empathy.

7) ACCEPT ANGER FOR WHAT IT IS - A transitory emotion. Don't fight it. It is normal to get angry, and there is nothing inherently bad about it. Feel your anger, analyse the reason for it, but don't act on it. Talk about it once you've calmed down, if you wish to do so. Communication is very important.

8) KNOW YOUR BOUNDARIES - Learn to say "No" to avoid stress and burnout. Sometimes, enough is enough and you need to recognise when you've reached your limits. Recognise when others overstep your boundaries and take advantage of you. It's okay to help other people, but you need to help yourself too. After all, you're a "people" too!

9) SURRENDER TO YOUR HIGHER POWER - Don't fight fate. Instead, let go and let God. Trust your gut feeling, your conscience, your emotions: God's voice inside of you. If you allow Him to take over and guide you, your burden will feel much lighter and the road ahead much smoother.

10) LIVE A SPIRITUAL LIFE - Always remind yourself of your spiritual and divine purpose in this existence. You're not a physical being having a spiritual experience, you're a spiritual being having a physical experience.

11) LAUGH A LOT - If you laugh, you can't be sad or angry. Looking a the funny side of things breaks the ice and helps you relax. But don't laugh at others - only laugh at yourself.

I promise you that these principles will change your life!

With much love,

Bella


Painting: "Water Lilies" by Claude Monet, 1916 (Wikipaintings)

You are a Beautiful Person!

Today, make it a point to accept the beauty within you. Tell yourself that you are confident instead of being fearful. Tell yourself that everything is as it is meant to be in this very moment. Tell yourself that the present is an optimum state of being, and the future will unfold in the best way too. Accept yourself fully, including all your strengths and weaknesses. This will boost your self-esteem, your trust in your ability to pursue any goal you wish to attain.

In my book, "The Magic of Willpower", I talk a lot about self-image. It is the key to your success in every area of your life: health, relationships, career, creativity... It is the key to contentment and lasting happiness. If you feel comfortable with yourself and believe in your talents, doors will open for you and the Universe will conspire to make your dreams materialise.

Tell yourself that you are perfect and lovable just the way you are. You don't need to change anything about yourself, to uncover your own beauty. You are a beautiful person and nothing can alter this truth.  Today, make it a point to love everything about you, without exception. Without needing to change or improve, you can become more of who you are, and find new ways to express your uniqueness. You are an inspiration, as you were made in the image and likeness of your Creator. You were born from love and you live and will continue to live from a place of love...

So celebrate your own beauty today!

Bella

Painting: "The Green Parasol" by Guy Rose, 1911 (Wikipaintings)

You Have a Creative Divine Genius within You!

"Every child is an artist. The problem is staying an artist when you grow up."

- Pablo Picasso


A creative genius, which originates from the Divine, dwells within you, whether you are aware of it or not. Your Higher Self is wise and knows everything. This part of you is like a spark at first, as you acknowledge it for the first time. It will get bigger as you allow it to come forth and shine through the physical part of you. You inner genius is perfect as it is part of the pure Divine energy that flows through the Universe and draws you with it if you let go of self-defeating thoughts and beliefs that are holding you back.

You Higher Self enjoys learning, teaching, intellectual and artistic stimulation. It enjoys symbols and the expression of emotions with songs, poetry, music and paintings. You have everything you need within yourself to be creative and to express yourself in a unique way. Give you attention to this part of you, and don't let it starve and die of thirst. If you feel an urge to expand your knowledge and your mind, don't suppress it. There is so much beauty around you and to express it is to highlight it and rejoice in it.  At the same time, you draw other people's attention to it, so everyone can become aware of it and appreciate it.

Learn or create something new today. Be daring and innovative. Don't hold back. Don't worry about what other people will think. Feel yourself becoming alive while unleashing your inner genius, this Higher Self that desperately wants a chance to make a contribution to your life and to the life of others. Put all your trust in it and let the process carry you along, without fretting about the outcome. Just do it, and you'll be grateful for this fantastic opportunity you're giving yourself.

With all my love,

Bella 


Painting:"Girls at the Piano" by Pierre-Auguste Renoir, 1892

You are a Divine Being!

"The moment I have realised God sitting in the temple of every human body, the moment I stand in reverence before every human being and see God in him - that moment I am free from bondage, everything that binds vanishes, and I am free." 

- Swami Vivekananda

The power is within you. You are an expression of the Divine, which permeates the Universe and is the origin of all life. This pure positive energy is transformative. It enhances all colours, making them rich and vibrant. Sounds become harmonious and soothing; the air deliciously soft and invigorating. This energy propels you forward and every time, without fail, it leads you towards the best possible outcome, for yourself and for everyone else.

You are not just a body with a brain. You are a Divine soul in a body that is a temple, a gift  and a miracle, as it is amazingly perfect. You are literally a part of God in this physical body. As you become conscious of your Divine nature, it will change you. You will start feeling better about yourself and about the world, the people around you. You will find purpose in what used to seem meaningless. You will find yourself quietly contemplating a thought, a word or an activity that feels good. And suddenly, you will experience this marvellous sense of being at one with God and the entire Universe.

Fully receptive, you are now aligning yourself with this endless source of wellbeing. You are now allowing the Divine to flow through you. And in that moment of openness, you become everything you said you would be... You are an extension of this loving life force, and you have full creative power. You are thriving, you are succeeding. All your dreams are coming true. You are finally happy with yourself and with others. You feel at peace with your circumstances, with whatever life dishes out to you.

You rejoice in your lucidity, your alertness, the new-found awareness of your true essence. You know that only love is real; the rest is an illusion. Love is the light that you shine on everything. It illuminates the darkness, the despondency. Now there is only hope an joy. Now you know that there is no source of illness, only a source of wellbeing. Now you know that darkness is only the absence of light, just like evil is the absence of love.

You are who you are. You're allowing that which you really are to emerge: a part of the Universe, a manifestation of the Divine. You feel the fire within you, a burning desire and enthusiasm for life. Finally, you can put the struggle behind you. From now on, you will let this magnificent Divine energy guide you and carry you, no matter what you're doing or what you're intending to do.

Enjoy being a Divine Being!

Bella

Painting: "Flower Garden" by Gustav Klimt, 1907 (Wikipaintings)

How to Quit An Addiction

"You do anything long enough to escape the habit of living until the escape becomes the habit." - David Ryan

There is an element of escapism in every addiction. It prevents you from truly living in the world, living in the present moment.  You reject something about the reality of your existence, and you long to be somewhere else, doing something different.

The addiction makes you postpone true enjoyment, by making you believe that this kind of behaviour is more pleasurable. You look for instant gratification; you want to feel good immediately. This is understandable, as it is every human being's desire to feel comfortable. The problem with addiction is that it will make you feel worse in the long run.

To quit an addiction, you need to acknowledge that you have one. This is not always as easy as it seems. Denial plays a big role, and you tend to downplay the extent of your dependence on a substance, whether it be chocolate, nicotine, alcohol or other drugs. You can also be addicted to certain behaviours such as gambling or pornography. A lot of people are addicted to money and earthly possessions. Of course, there is nothing wrong with enjoying material objects, as long as it is not your main purpose in life.

Acknowledge that the addiction is hurting you, both physically and mentally. Too much food and you will put on weight, jeopardising your health. Too much alcohol, and you could end up with liver cirrhosis or alcoholic dementia. Too many cigarettes, and you will put your heart and lungs at risk... The solution is to shift your attention from the addiction onto something else - to develop a craving for a healthy lifestyle. You can imagine what it would be like, how much energy you would have, how much time and quality of life. 

There might be a transition period with possible withdrawal symptoms, and medical help might be necessary. To overcome this hurdle, picture the advantages of being without the addiction: the relief and the freedom to be your true self again... Some people go "cold turkey", while others prefer to reduce the addiction progressively, and gradually cut out the harmful substance or behaviour... When tempted, remind yourself why you want to quit, and how far you've come so far. Congratulate yourself for your efforts. 

Quitting is about quitting, not about giving in to yourself. You can conquer your cravings and control what your body or your mind think they need. One way to overcome the urge is to replace the substance with something that will fill the gap. Physical exercise, reading, playing or listening to music, meditating, helping others, spending time with family and friends: these are constructive activities that will take your mind off your addiction. To keep busy is a good strategy, as it won't allow you to think about what you're missing. Finding a meaningful activity is the best way to stop indulging in an unwanted habit. 

In my book "The Magic of Willpower", I explain that it takes 21 days to form new habits. So after three weeks, you will begin to feel better. Your body will adapt to your new lifestyle... And you will start reaping the rewards for your positive choice.

Just hang in there and never give up... It's worth it and you're worth it!

My love,

Bella

Painting; "Yellow Bignonia and Swallow-Tail Butterflies with a View of Congonhas, Brazil" by Marianne North, 1875 (Wikipaintings)

A New Day Begins!

Every new day is a clean, blank page full of possibilities. As I wake up in the morning, I can begin writing the script for this day in my head. I can modify it and adapt it to circumstances as I go along. To me, every new day is a day of learning. What I experience will contribute to my growth as a human being. Maybe I have been living with a problem that has become too much for me to handle. Maybe today I can think about things a bit differently, looking at them from a more positive angle, even if it seems impossible at first. I can give myself some praise and encouragement. 

I will have a plan of action for today, to make it as productive and rewarding as possible. I will include some time to relax and unwind, maybe watch a light comedy on TV to put the laughter back into my life. I will refrain from saying or doing anything that I might regret later. But if I do make mistakes, I won't blame or punish myself. Mistakes are just learning opportunities. If I stumble, I can pick myself up. If I go the wrong way, I can correct my course. I can live my life in this way, for this day only, without worrying about the future, and without feeling guilty about the past.

Enjoy your day!

Bella

Painting: "Enclosed field with Rising Sun" by Vincent van Gogh, 1889