When I find it hard to love myself just as I am, I think about nature and how beautiful it is, without humans needing to improve it. It is perfect harmony and so well orchestrated that it takes our breath away. Just like the natural environment we live in, we were made in the same way, an image of perfection. Just look at a newborn baby - nobody would dispute that it is anything but cute and endearing, a miracle of creation, made out of nothing, a tiny egg and an even tinier sperm cell...
I might not be a newborn baby any more - but I still have the essence of this miracle in me. But through socialization, upbringing, schooling, jobs, and the media, I have learnt to judge myself, sometimes harshly, instead of accepting myself as I am. I have learnt to be my worst enemy. I have put myself down and I have abused myself, my mind, my body... Today I want to undo this harm, because I know that if I am unkind to myself, others will be unkind to me. If I treat myself badly, others will treat me badly too. If I feel that I am a victim, I will be powerless. It's time for me to have a healthy self-esteem. It's time for me to stop being so hard on myself. It's time for me to stop putting unnecessary pressure on myself. Doing certain things and being a certain way to please others is not everything in life - just being is enough.
Photo: "Ellis Brook Reserve" by Bella Tindale
When I was looking for a photo for the cover of my book, "The Magic of Willpower" I had a path in mind, something that symbolises our life journey, a bit rocky, a bit uneven. The scenery is beautiful as we progress along this path, which is not always smooth, and sometimes full of obstacles. But the grass is green on each side, and the colours are brillant and vibrant as we live in the present moment.
The blue sky is a reflection of our inner peace, a sense of calm and purpose as we tread along this road full of surprises. Green is the colour of motivation, our inner drive. It's the colour of things that grow and change and become more of what they are.
The rainbow is very important to me as it is the hope of good things to come. It also reminds us of the "pot of gold" at the end of the rainbow, a reward that seems elusive because we fear we might never get there to enjoy it. But the pot of gold is here right now. You can have it any time if you live your life with full awareness, one moment at a time, while focusing on the now. And now is the only time you have. It's the only time you have to think and dream and to live your dream.
Whatever you want to achieve, you can do it. Just because you haven't been able to do it so far doesn't mean you won't be able to do it in the future. It's not the past that defines you. It's not the past that drives you forward. It's the present moment. You are now paving the way for your future.
With love,
Bella
