The Power of Kindness

"It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice." -Author Unknown.

"If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion." - Dalai Lama

How do you change the world? By practicing one act of kindness at a time. Smiling, opening doors, helping with chores, assisting a friend or a stranger in need, giving money to charity, spending quality time with a child or a pet, giving your undivided attention to others and listening to them with empathy... All these deeds are priceless and add up, contributing to making this planet a better place to live. Recycling rubbish and rescuing animals, as well as encouraging peace, tolerance and understanding between different nations and religions are other examples of compassion. 

Kindness begins with everyone of us. Awareness of others (putting ourselves in their shoes), without being judgmental or critical, is the first step towards changing our attitude. Analyzing our responses is another important step. Just because people don't behave according to our expectations doesn't mean we must react to them with annoyance or irritation... 

Taking a deep breath and thinking before speaking can often defuse an argument. Others have their own reasons to be grumpy, unhelpful, unreasonable or irrational in your my eyes. You don't need to take it to heart. In an awkward situation, you always have a choice - whether to react or to respond in a polite manner, or not to respond at all. In the worst case scenario, it might be better to walk away and leave a troublesome individual to his or her devices. Angry people like to transfer their negative feelings onto others, but you don't have to be the target of their bad temper if you choose not to be. Give them understanding instead of fighting back, and their anger will soon evaporate. 

Kindness is important because your attitude towards life and others can have a significant effect on what happens to you day after day. If you expect good things, then these will come to you. If you expect people to treat you well, with love, respect and empathy, just like you treat them, then this is what you will receive in return. What you give out will come back to you. If you focus on kindness, this is what you will experience: the circumstances of your life will change accordingly. Maybe not right away - but sooner or later you will reap the fruits of your actions. You will see the results in the way other people respond to you, and in the way your daily needs are being met. Your own kindness and compassion will be reflected in everything that takes place in your life!

with love,

Bella

Painting: "Sara in a Large Flowered Hat Looking Right Holding Her Dog" by Mary Cassatt, 1902 (Wikipaintings)

The Power of Humility

"Humility is the foundation of all other virtues, hence in the soul in which this virtue does not exist there cannot be any other virtue except in mere appearance." - Saint Augustine

"True humility is contentment." - Henri Frederic Amiel

Humility is the opposite of pride, but you've been told to take pride in yourself and what you do. So where does this contradiction come from? Your ego wants you to believe that you're always right. It's opinionated, full of self-importance, wanting to save face at all cost or to bully others into doing things your way. This is when you need to stop and think, and put yourself in other people's shoes.

It's okay to be proud of your achievements, but a healthy dose of self-esteem is not the same as arrogance. Arrogance stems from fear: fear of not being good enough, of being rejected, of not being taken seriously. Therefore arrogance comes from a feeling of insecurity that the individual covers up with a false sense of pride. This leads to a rigid attitude towards others, and towards anything that doesn't comply with a fixed image of the way things should be.

To be humble is to be open-minded. It's to be able to admit that you may be wrong, that you don't know everything. No one has the key to ultimate knowledge. There is always room for improvement, and for learning new things. Every day, you gather new experiences, and have the opportunity to change your perspective on people and circumstances. What was valid yesterday might not be that way today or tomorrow. To be humble is to be adaptable, flexible and able to go with the flow.

You need to have a realistic view of yourself, of your assets as well as your shortcomings, your strengths as well as your weaknesses. You need to embrace yourself for who you are, and love others for who they are, instead of trying to change them. Humility is contentment, because it brings with it peace, tolerance and acceptance. Humility opens the door to all things...

"If my people, who are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then I will hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land." - 2 Chronicles 7:14

With love,

Bella

Photo by Bella Tindale

Give up your New Year's Resolutions!

"May the New Year bring you courage to break your resolutions early! My own plan is to swear off every kind of virtue, so that I triumph even when I fall!" - Aleister Crowley, Moonchild

Forget those New Year's resolutions when you decide on the last day of December how you're going to lead your life in June, six months later. Any resolution that involves making decisions about your long-term behavior reinforces the self-defeating idea of living in the future instead of the present moment. You can keep making resolutions until the cows come home, but you'll still have to live your life in the only way that it  can be done: ONE DAY AT A TIME. Rather than making long-term plans about your lifestyle choices, ask yourself: "How will I use my present moments this year?" Will you waste them in assessing your past behavior, and how you would like to behave in the future, instead of deciding to live each day of the year to the fullest?

Set up daily goals for yourself, and resolve to live with this present moment awareness for the rest of your life. Instead of giving up sugar for a year, go one day without sugar. Anyone can do anything for a day only. When you go for a day without eating sugar, you are a different person at the end of the day. And that different person can decide whether you want to do it again on the second day and so on. Don't let the old person convince you that it will be too hard anyway, and that you'll be back to eating sugar in no time at all. Don't allow the "old you" to make decisions. Only the "new you" has this privilege!

You may think that your past failures to stick to New Year's resolutions are due to a character flaw on your behalf, a lack of persistence of willpower. This is not true. You give up on your resolutions because your mind resists the notion of doing something for a long period of time, with no end in sight. It's impossible to do this, because you can't think that far ahead. Instead of trying to achieve the impossible, ask yourself every morning, "How do I want to conduct my life today? What choices will I make to enhance my health and growth as an individual?" Carry out your goals for this day only. Once you become an expert at living in the present and living a day at a time, you'll see yourself changing to your own surprise and delight.

Give up your New Year's resolutions: give up your self-defeating thinking habits, and begin to savor each day of this brand new year.

With my best wishes and love,

Bella

Photo: "Pelican" by Bella Tindale

The True Meaning of Christmas and the New Year

"Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For everything in the world - the craving of sinful man, the lust of his eyes and the boasting of what he has or what he does - does not come from the Father but from the world. The world and its desires pass away, but the one who does the will of God lasts forever." - 1 John 2 (15-17)

Christmas symbolises unselfishness and generosity. It is a time of giving and being together to celebrate the birth of Jesus. Jesus is the light of the world and the light that shines within each of us.  We are born to new life as He was born in the manger of Bethlehem. We are ready to leave what is unwanted behind and embrace new habits, a new lifestyle, a new attitude towards ourselves, others and the world. As we discover what is really important to us and what we really want, we are ready to transform our lives. This is what I write about in my book "The magic of Willpower". There is a kind of magic when this happens, because everything falls into place, and instead of being at war with ourselves, we are at peace and we don't have to struggle to lose weight, give up smoking or drinking or controlling our anger. 

Christ is pure love and He dwells in each of us. Christ is the epitome of our highest ideals, of goodness, patience, compassion and affection. Christ is healing and growth and replaces dysfunction and destruction. "Do not love the world" means: do not thirst for status or material goods. We may be the hard working type and have a lot of ambition, chase after a lot of things, but this is not what Christ is about.  Or we can be the "lazy" type and give in to every whim and desire - with an attitude of instant gratification that may lead to painful problems such as feeling guilt and shame and having unhealthy relationships. It can also lead to being overweight or addicted to certain substances or  behaviours. 

Christmas and the New Year are a time of feasting and letting go before the first of January, a new beginning, with your New Year resolutions. Don't be too hard on yourself if you want these resolutions to last. Small changes are all you need to begin with. Look at the big picture. Listen to your inner voice and cultivate hope in your heart - no matter where you're at right now, it can only get better. 

With lots of love and my best wishes,

Bella

Painting: "The Nativity of Christ" by Vladimir Borokovsky, 1790 - 1825, Russia.

Surrender and Go with the Flow

"Always say "yes" to the present moment. What could be more futile, more insane, than to create inner resistance to what already is? What could be more insane than to oppose life itself, which is now and always now? Surrender to what is. Say "yes" to life - and see how life suddenly starts working for you rather than against you." - Eckhart Tolle

"If you just go with the flow, no matter what weird things happen along the way, you always end up
where you belong." - Tom Upton, Just Plain Weird.

This is an intelligent, friendly Universe, and it's so well orchestrated that there is no need to control anything. If you could just stop having regrets about the past and worrying about the future, you would be much better off and you would instantly feel better. At the core of your wish to manipulate others and circumstances lies FEAR. The fear that things won't turn out the way you want them to if you just let go.

The opposite of fear is love and trust. Love your life, love your circumstances and the people around you and trust that everything will be all right, even though you might be in the middle of a challenging situation. Allow things to unfold naturally, without interfering. Allow others to be who themselves, without attempting to change them and direct them. If you let go of resistance and enjoy the present moment, you will open yourself to endless possibilities. Life will be without limitation, instead of being an imitation, and it will take you to wonderful places.

Bury the hatchet and wave your peace banner. Let go of vengeful thoughts. Buddha said that resentment is like holding on to a hot coal, with the intention of throwing it at someone else; you're the one who gets burned! Make peace with others, but also make peace with yourself and your circumstances. Start where you are, and don't wait for the future to fulfil your expectations.

Everything you need is in the present moment, and every minute is an opportunity to heal and grow and have a positive outlook on life. Stop wasting your energy fighting things; it just causes stress - and stress is a killer! Choose serenity instead - remain cool, calm and collected, no matter what. Make it your philosophy that this is the best of all possible worlds, and it will be that way for you.

Surrender, forgive, go with the flow and enjoy every moment of this great journey...

With all my love,

Bella

Photo: "Black Swan" by Bella Tindale

Life is Like a River

"Eventually, all things merge into one, and a river runs through it." - Norman Fitzroy Maclean

We were born out of the sea and as we emerged from non-being into being, we were given awareness...  Life first existed in the sea, and then it grew out of it. Without life there is no awareness. There is no death; there is only life, and when the pure energy becomes physical, it expresses itself in that form. Awareness began growing in the sea, in the water, and developed from it, and manifested itself in the wonders of nature, in the creation of animals and humans. 

Life is like water, forever flowing, never ending, taking us with it. Its irresistible current pulls us and carries us like a pair of strong arms... We are like water, always moving, on a journey of discovery, heading back to the sea, the mother of all things (the French word for sea is "la mer", the mother...) We are on a journey to return to ourselves. Our days are easily absorbed by the sandy river banks, and often wasted, as we've lost our purpose, as we've lost the true meaning of life...

We continue to be pulled along and the current is sometimes fast, and sometimes slow. We have new adventures, we see new faces, and wander in wonder through exotic places. But the destination is the same: it's a return to our origins, to the beginning of Life itself.

Go with the flow, and give all the love you can while you're on this extraordinary journey. Turn your attention inward, to your thoughts, your feelings. Envision life like water, like a mighty river. Don't go against it; let it take you with it. Eventually, you will overcome all your struggles and difficulties.

With much love,

Bella

Photo: "River Congo" by Sophie Kratz

Live a Healthy Life for a Healthy Future

"The greatest wealth is health." - Vigil

You may be able to amass a lot of wealth over the years, but without your health you won't be able to enjoy it... You may be able to achieve great heights in our professional life, but what will it mean to you without wellbeing?

The only way to feel joy is to feel good within yourself, to feel at ease. The word dis-ease reflects the imbalance caused by a body that is out of tune. This is often due to the abuse we inflict on it, and to a detrimental lifestyle. On top of that you may be experiencing a lot of stress, which makes you feel powerless and even more likely to succumb to harmful habits. 

In my book "The Magic of Willpower" I will show you how to break this cycle and develop a way of life that is totally suited to the person you are. I will give you strategies to overcome any obstacles you may encounter along the way. Every day, you have the opportunity to look after your body and your mind to the best of your ability. Now is the time to begin, not tomorrow or next month or next year, or when this or that has happened. You can't keep making excuses. It's time to take things into your hands and to look after yourself. Whatever you decide to do today has a direct impact on your future health.

Drinking too much alcohol, smoking or overeating as well as taking unnecessary drugs have cumulative effects on your inner organs, and accelerate the ageing and degeneration process. Addictions are often hard to break. However, you can do it if you go back to the root of the problem: what caused you to turn to this addiction in the first place. Negative thinking, worries and anxiety, the fear you won't be able to cope may have influenced you in that direction. 

To be successful in giving up a substance or an unwanted behaviour, it's important to take your focus away from it and give your attention to the advantages of a life free of addiction: the physical and psychological benefits will be enormous and you will enjoy life and cope with problems a lot better. 

Less junk food for instance, and more fruit and vegetables, means more energy and endurance to do things that are pleasurable, such as pursuing a hobby or taking up an exercise routine. It will also make you more confident when meeting new people, as you will have this healthy glow about you!

Who we are, what we look like and how we feel: these are the consequences of our actions over a lifetime. We experience health problems as a result of negative habits. These habits have a profound effect over a number of years. But we are not helpless when it comes to our health, and we can actively do something about it. It's never too late to change. 

If you already have a chronic condition like high blood pressure or diabetes, a positive lifestyle will improve your overall health and your condition might even disappear. If you have a more serious condition such as cancer, a healthy lifestyle will boost your immune system and help you deal with pain and discomfort. Exercise too is a great immune and mood enhancer.

There is no bodily condition that can't be improved. The change begins in the mind as you become aware of your choices. Think about what you can do for yourself today: drink a lot of water, eat a variety of fresh foods, get some exercise and adequate rest. And above all, RELAX and put your worries aside!

With much love,

Bella

Painting: "Trees. Study" by Fyodor Vasilyev, Russia, 1870