Being an Optimist

I have become my own version of an optimist. If I can't make it through one door, I'll go through another door - or I'll make a door. Something terrific will come no matter how dark the present." - Rabindranath Tagore

How you look at things defines you as a pessimist or an optimist. The pessimist doesn't believe in happy endings; he or she believes that they are doomed to be miserable, and that nothing good will ever happen to them. Some pessimists become depressed and turn to substance abuse to blot out painful feelings. They usually don't experience much success and tend to blame others for their problems. The optimist is the opposite: he or she believes that things will work out eventually, and that it is possible to be happy, no matter how grim things are looking at the moment. The optimist takes responsibility for his or her life and doesn't waste time looking for scapegoats. 

So why is it better to be an optimist? Aren't you kidding yourself when you put on those rosy glasses? It has been proven that optimists live longer, have less stress and suffer less diseases than pessimists. Optimists have stronger immune systems. They are also more successful than pessimists in every area of their lives, whether it be love, finances or simply getting a parking spot in a crowded lot.

Being an optimist is about being adventurous, and approaching every situation without fear and with a positive attitude. It is about trusting yourself and your ability to master any situation one step at a time, no matter how challenging it is. I will show you how to do this in my book, "The Magic of Willpower". Willpower is a direct consequence of the way you look at things - all of a sudden, what seemed impossible becomes a reality, a part of you. You never suspected that you had this potential hidden inside of you! Congratulate yourself for your achievements so far, no matter how big or small they may be, and no matter how great or insignificant they may be in other people's eyes.

Surround yourself with positive, optimistic people and shut out negative influences. An optimist might hear a disparaging remark, but won't take it to heart. He or she believes that human beings are inherently good and trustworthy. Don't be scared of making mistakes, they're part of your learning journey. There is no failure. Everything that happens to you is an opportunity to move forward and to learn new skills, such as patience, endurance and self-discipline.

Pain is only temporary, while optimism is an eternal gift. Once you've adopted this attitude, your life will inevitably improve, because of the way you perceive people, situations and events. Being an optimist is a way of life, and it's probably the best and most rewarding of all.

Have a nice day with lots of positive thoughts!

Bella

Painting: "Landscape by Moonlight" by Jan Sluyters, 1911

Focus on the Positive

"Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all others." - Cicero

Maybe it's a habit for you to have an inner conversation about the things that go wrong in your life. "Oh no, not again... Why is this happening to me? Why me? Why can't I be lucky for a change?"
You may spend a lot of time judging yourself and others: "I shouldn't have done this or that... I'm such an idiot... If only I'd known... This person is so rude and annoying... She's so selfish... He's so arrogant... These people are not doing their job properly..." And so on... Your thoughts continue to run along these lines... Including what you say to yourself about your financial situation: "There's never enough money... When am I going to have more money? Prices are going up all the time... How am I going to afford this? Why do I have to pay so much for this?"

Today you can decide to clear your head of this endless chatter which is not beneficial for you. Instead, you can begin to focus on the good things in your life. Is there anything that's going well for you? It could be your health, your job, your family, your friends, your car, your neighbourhood, your leisure activities... It could be your cat, your dog or even your goldfish. It could be your boss who hasn't criticised you for the last couple of weeks. It could be having a roof over your head and food on the table. It could be as simple as being alive, even if you have nothing else. There is a lot to be grateful for if you really think about it!

Instead of focusing on the negative, you can change your thoughts and begin to like your circumstances and the people around you, rather than rejecting them and fighting against them. No human being is perfect, but as you accept other people's imperfections, while highlighting their qualities, you'll start seeing them in a different light. You'll become more lenient and have less expectations. Human beings are fallible, prone to mistakes, and likely to hurt others, often unintentionally. Others say or do things you don't like, and you can't change them. But you can set boundaries, by not allowing them to intrude into your privacy and interfere with your life and your choices. You give them the right to be themselves, while kindly asking them to do the same for us. This is the true meaning of respect.

You can allow things to affect you and become angry or upset. Or you can choose to maintain an inner peace, an inner sanctuary that nothing can disturb. Temporary frustration is not much compared to inner harmony and stability, a core strength within your self - the intention to see everything in a positive light, no matter what... If you're feeling low, you can look outside the window and reflect on the scenery: the sky, the clouds, the wind blowing the trees around... A single flower, an intricate spider web, a rainbow in a puddle of water, children playing, birds twittering... Beauty and serenity are always available if you seek them out, and you can appreciate them at any time.

As soon as a negative, judgemental thought enters your mind, replace it with a positive, uplifting one. Cling to it and don't let worry or anxiety take over your blissful inner landscape. Trust that all is well, and will continue to be that way, no matter what's happening around you. Don't project crisis and disaster into the future, but expect outcomes to be in your favour. Appreciate what you've got now, and you will attract more of it into your life!

With much love,
Bella

Painting: "Field Flowers" by Nicolae Tonitza (1886 - 1940), Romania, post-impressionism